Sunday, December 28, 2008

Everything comes and goes!

It has been so long since my last post, but this month has flown by. Quite honestly, this year is a bit of a blur. So much has happened in the past 12 months, delivering Colin being the best! I am sitting here, Sunday night at 10:30, everyone else is sound asleep. I watch them as they sleep, and I want to cry. More on the lines of pinch myself to make sure it is real. My babies, all three, Tj included, are my life. I don't know what I would do without them. They keep me on my toes, and give me more then enough reason to open my eyes every morning. I have heard on so many occasions of people abandoning their families, moms leaving their kids, dads leaving, people abusing their spouse or child. I could not imagine. I thank god every day that I don't have to live like that. I have a husband who loves me unconditionally, and the most beautiful children ever. I just hope they know how much I love them, especially TJ.

On to a different subject....
Christmas has come and gone, and boy that was sooo fun. Emily was so much fun this year. She finally understood what was going on. Of course, as soon as she opened one thing, she wanted to open it completely and play with it for awhile. She was so happy with all her gifts, of course she always thinks she needs more. She got a guitar, with a real microphone that hooks on her ear. She plays music all the time know. We introduced her to PlayDoh, with a little bit of hesitation, but she plays great with it. We still have to get some presses, and more accessories, but she loves it. Colin, he was not so much fun. He was more into eating the paper she ripped off the presents. He got a lot of clothes, which is really what he needed. We go him some toys, but he has so many from the kids on my bus, and from when Em was a baby. Emily got a KidTough Portable DVD player from my parents. It is so cool , and so kid friendly. She can hit buttons and it doesn't do anything. I can't wait to try it on the bus. Oh wait..... yes I can, I am not ready to go back yet.
Speaking of my bus. My kids are awesome. I received so many great presents from all my kids. I didn't really expect much, but they went above and beyond this year. We totaled it all up, in just gift cards and money, I got over $350, plus so many little ornaments, and candles, and small gifts. Even Emily and Colin got gifts. This is really the time of year I appreciate what I do. I love my job, and they just proved why!

I am looking forward to a new year. I have many reasons, but I think I am going to start a few new things this year. I would love to lose some weight. I am very happy with my size, I would just like to tone it up. I think I might start new eating habits, not really a diet, just more of a schedule, rather then the snacking I do now. I would love to get more active and walk or something. It is really hard with two kids, and the weather, but I think I will figure something out. I would love to get a treadmill to use when the kids are occupied. We'll see..... We are going to my Uncles on New Years Eve. He lives in Maryland, and all my distant family will be there. It will be so nice to see everyone, especially a few people I haven't seen in years. I can't wait for a lot of them to meet Colin. A few of them have never met him, and some only met him when he was first born. It is always a good time when we all get together. We will probably go down there for a few hours, and try to make it home before midnight, or at least to Jenn's house to play cards or the Wii. Yep, that's right, the boys got a Wii for Christmas, and it is really cool. We were playing it tonight. We were competing on the bowling challenge. It was a lot of fun, and everyone can get involved.
We were at Jenn's for Joshua's 3rd birthday party. That is so crazy, he is already 3. Emily will be 3 soon too. I can't beleive it. Jacob will be 6, Jeffrey 9, Emily 3, and then My Colie will be 1. OMG.... that really makes me want to cry. I seriously remember the day Jeffrey was born like it was just yesterday. It is so crazy how fast time goes when you put kids into the equation. Speaking of time.... it is almost 11 now, and I should really get to bed. The kids will have me up bright and early, and we have to grocery shop tomorrow, yay! Here's to a happy, healthy, prosporous new year to everyone. Wishing you all the best!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

It's that time of year again!

Wow this year has flown by. I remember last Christmas like it was last week. It has gone so fast, and with Colin making his appearance and Emily growing like a weed, I can't figure out where the time went.

The last couple weeks have been crazy, as usual. We took the kids to a Christmas party, to meet Santa. That didn't go so well. Emily hated him, she screamed and cried and threw a huge fit. She wouldn't go anywhere near him, until he getting ready to leave, and she was talking to him from a distance. When you ask her what she wants from Santa she says "Purple presents, orange presents and kitty cat presents". Let me tell you, it is impossible to find purple and orange Christmas wrapping paper. So I think I am going to the birthday section for that. The kitty cat, well he made his appearance early. Santa made a special delivery for Em, and she is so happy. His name is Oswald, like the octopus cartoon, and we call him "Ozzy". He is a gray and white tiger cat, and he is about 10 weeks now. He is a cuttie, and we are happy to have him, with the exception of the dog. He is coming around, but Spike is not a fan of sharing his bed, his toys or his home. It is getting better. Emily picks Ozzy up and carries him around like he is a dolly, and she looks for him all the time. Of course, he hides very well. I will try to figure out how to post pictures on here soon!

We are just about done shopping for Christmas. We only have my neice Bella left to buy for. We are probably getting her sneakers and an outfit. She already has so many toys, and she is still too little to really understand. I found a pair of Nike shox I want to get her, but they are $50, and I just cringe at spending that on shoes she might wear for a few months. We'll see. After that, we might pick up some little odd and ends for our kids, and some stocking stuffers, but all and all we are done. We are going to try to finish today.

Tonight is a big night. We got a sitter and are going to a Christmas party. It is only a few blocks from our house, and it is free, so why not? It will be nice to be an adult and talk to adults, oh yeah, and have a cocktail. LOL! As long as the kids are in bed by 9, we will have no problem. Colin is like clock-work, at 7:30 he is ready for a bottle and bed. He will fall asleep then, and stay asleep until 7 am. Emily, as long as I don't let her take a nap, she will be in bed by 8:30, and should sleep most of the night. She has started having nightmares, about monsters and stuff. She wakes up screaming and crying. I am sure she will be fine, and we will only be gone a few hours, and we are only 2 minutes away. The couple who are babysitting for us are the best ever. They are so sweet, and I can't wait until they get married. They are perfect for each other, and they are so great with my kids. I would love to save some money and get them a really nice wedding gift, of course I have some time, I don't think the wedding is until 2010.,

I am kind of sad, I have lost a good bit of contact with our friends who just had the twins. Her life is crazy I am sure, and we are all over the place. It has just been really hard to keep up with each other. I wish it could be different, but I am sure after the holidays it will get better. She has her 4 kids and I have my 2, and we both have a lot going on. I think I will try to contact her today to see when is a good time to come see the kids.

I better go, TJ will be home at 12, and I haven't even showered yet. We are supposed to go shopping as soon as he gets home. The kids are still in their jammies, this should be a mad dash to the finish!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Giving Thanks!

There are so many reasons to be thankful. I find myself looking for reasons to not be thankful, but I am really trying to change that. I am typically a very negative person, but I have been trying to find the positive and use it to my advantage. It seems to be working, and I notice a little change in my attitude. I laid in bed last night, while TJ was snoozing away, and went through so many things that I should be thankful for, and they far out number the reasons not to be thankful.

My children..... the most beautiful, precious, perfect angels anyone could ask for. They are truly a gift, and I am so thankful to have them in my life. They show the most unselfish, devoted love. They smile, even when I don't think there is a reason to smile, and make my heart melt. They can make anyday seem like perfection. Emily is so creative, so happy, so loving. She keeps my going with a smile on my face, just because she is Emily. I always say "who couldn't love her, that is my girl" and truly I don't know anyone who couldn't love her. She is so compassionate, and funny and loving and she absolutely loves her baby "brudder". Colin, he is such a little tubby. He is so happy, even when he is not feeling well. Example, he just got shots yesterday, he cried for like 2 minutes, and then laughed and played the rest of the day. He just smiles, and I get butterflies. He is so much like his daddy, with his eyes and his smile. He is surely a mommas boy, but I am ok with that. Honestly, how couldn't I be thankful for them!

My husband..... I could go on forever about him. We have our moments and we sometimes don't treat each other the way we should, but that who we are! He is my soul mate, and I really don't think I could do this without him. He is the love of my life, and I am so thankful for him. I know I probably don't always show it, nor do I always act it, but I do love him unconditionally, with all my heart.

My family...... I have the best sisters and brother a person could ask for. They are truly my best friends! I also have the most supportive, caring parents. We all have a very open relationship, no secrets and no lies, my parents included. We are all very loyal to each other, and that is very important. My parents have come a long way since we were little, and it is inspiring for TJ and I. I only hope I have a quarter of their love and strength in 32 years. They have been throuhg a lot, and somehow they only got stronger. I know us kids have based our own marriages and relationships on them. We all want so much to be like them.

My job..... I know, it sounds stupid. I am only a bus driver, but I don't see it like that. First and foremost, I have job security. There will always be school, and they will always need transportation. Second, I love my students. My students are the best students, with a few exceptions of course. They are really great kids, and my elementary kids love me just as much as I love them. I am thankful for my job, not only for the money, but because I can still be a full-time mommy. I take my kids with me, and we all love it, including my students!

Good Health...... Lately we have been struggling with my sister, having some medical problems. Everything is fixed now, and she should be better then ever soon! Having gone through this experience with her, I am so thankful we are all healthy now. We all could be better, but we don't have any major problems. I am thankful that Jenn had the problems she did, as they could have been much more serious. I am thankful that we have not had to experience what other have. My Great aunt just lost her 35 year old daughter to cancer. It started as breast cancer, and spread throughout. She had two beautiful baby boys, and so much to live for, but someone above thought it was her time. Now my aunt has to greive the loss of her daughter, and wonder what her son-in-law will do with her grandsons. That is why I am thankful for health!

My mom, as we were growing up, always told us "we are extremely rich, rich in love not money". When I was a kid I never really understood or respected that statement. Now that I am an adult, with my own children, I understand. We are rich in love and not money. I would rather have all the love in the world, then millions of dollars. Money is the root of all evil, and I only want what I need to get by. We struggle a lot with money, we often don't have enough to make ends meet, or we are robbing peter to pay paul, but that is better then greed and selfishness. I think Tj and I are who we are today because of our struggles, and our hard work. We appreciate things more because we have to work harder for them. Life to me is not measured by how much money you make, or what material things you have.... it is measured by your accomplishments, how hard you work, and the things that you love. This is the time of year to look at yourself and your life and find the true meaning of love and family. To me the meaning of love is reinvented everyday, when my children wake up, and I see them grow. To me the meaning of family is in my sisters and brother, their families and my parents. The love and support we have for each other is the meaning of family. I know this somehow became a mushy mess, but I have been thinking about all this, and I needed to vent. I find myself getting depressed and down during the holidays, mostly because of money, but this year I want it to be different. I want this year to be about love and family and friends and life. If you are still reading this, you apparently agree, or at least wanted to listen, so I hope you and yours have a Happy Holiday season, and may you find the blessing in your life and the love I have found!

Sunday, November 23, 2008


This last week has been a crazy, crazy week. We had so much go on, and it is really hard to keep up. My birthday was on Wednesday. It was just another day, just as I figured it would be. Noone forget, surprisingly. It was a nice night at home with my family, and Emily was singing to me all day. It was nice. Tonight we are having dinner at my mom's and they are doing cake and ice cream for me then. It will be nice, except my sister Jenn won't be there.

I better start a new paragraph to talk about Jenn. She had her Gall Bladder removed on Friday afternoon. It was a laporscopic procedure (*meaning they make a few small incisions, rather then a large one), but she still had to be given general anesthesia. She had a hard time coming out of it, and they kept her overnight. Through the night, the monitored her, and realized she has severe sleep apnea. Now she has to do a sleep study tonight. She just got home from the hospital, now she is headed back up there. I feel horrible, especially because she won't be there tonight. I wish we could postpone my birthday dinner, but this is truly the only free time for everyone. Kelly is going to bring the boys though, so they can be part of it. It will be fun for the kids, but I am sure all the adults will be thinking of Jenn. I just hope everything gets taken care of, and she can go back to living a normal life.

This morning we went to a girl I used to work with. I would consider her my friend, but we don't get many opportunities to talk. She was selling a boat load of girl clothes, 4-5T. I got a huge trash bag full of clothes for $60. She was originally asking much more, but I seriously could not afford it. She made that offer, so I took it. I could not pass it up. I got so much, and it is all so cute, and in excellent condition. Emily has a whole new wardrobe, with jeans that are long enough. Who would have thought "my" baby girl would tall like her daddy. I can't wait to see her in all the new clothes.

I asked Emily the other day if she wanted a kitty cat from Santa, and she told me "no". I was shocked. That was going to be her big gift from Santa. She is getting so much more, but that was the one things I was sure she would love. When I asked her why, she said "mommy they scratch". I laughed so hard, she was so cute. So now I am not sure what to do, we were set on getting one for her. We'll see what Santa brings in a month.

Better get going, I will try to post later.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Another weekend over!

This weekend turned out to be an uneventful, yet fun weekend. On Friday night we really did nothing, just sat around and watched our dvr shows. On Saturday, TJ worked, then we went to the hospital to see our friends who just had twins. (I'll talk more about that in a minute). On Sunday, we went grocery shopping and cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. All and all it was a great weekend.

Our friends have been anxiously awaiting their twins, and finally they made an appearance. On Friday she was admitted, and crazy enough the babies were born with two different birthdays. Madeline was born late Friday night, and Leah was born early Saturday morning. They were I think, an hour apart. We went to see them on Saturday. OMG, they are soooo cute, and cuddly. I was really nervous to go see them. I was afraid that if I held another little baby, I would want another one. I know crazy, right? But you know me! Honestly, it did the exact opposite. I don't want to sound rude, but it really made me not want anymore. I think it was more out of concern for them. I know they will do so great, and they are already excellent parents, but they are going to have 4 kids, under the age of 3. I know they can handle it, and they will make it look easy, but I don't think I could handle it. I think I would seriously lock myself up! She is such a strong role model for her daughters, my friend that it. She is one of the strongest, most patient, kind, generous, selfless people I know. She has always been caring and supportive of me, and so generous when it comes to my kids. I know that god dealt her this hand because he knows she can handle it, and handle it well. I hope she reads this, so she knows how much I respect her, not only as my friend, but as a mother to her children, a wife to her husband and an all around wonderful person. She has inspired me, and I am sure she will inspire many more people in her time. I truly do consider her my best friend. I do not have many girl friends, as a matter of fact, other then my sister, I don't really have any. We don't have the kind of friendship that we call each other all the time, or that we hang out every day, but we talk, especially on Myspace. We complain to each other, all the time. It is really the kind of friendship I need, she is there when I need her, but has her own life to worry about.

Ok enough about that. We went out to dinner on Saturday night. that was so much fun. We went to Friendly's with my sisters, their husbands, and the boys. We had a blast. It was nice to go out, have fun, and spend time with my family. Friendly's is so famly oriented, and kid friendly. Emily loved it, and the boys did too. We were celebrating the boys, they got excellent remarks at parent/teacher conferences, so my sister want to do something special for them. I hope they had as much fun as I did. They deserve it.

So my birthday is only a couple days away. I am really starting to thing that birthdays just don't matter anymore. If it is not about my husband and children, I don't really care. I guess maybe I should. I really only get one day a year that is mine, but I live for them, not myself. I keep thinking my husband will forget about it, and I am sure some of my family will forget. That is alright though, they have their own families to worry about. So here I am, happy birthday to me, and that is enough!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Super Saturday!

Wow, I actually had time to post twice today. That is an all time record for me. I just wanted to update about my earlier blog. There has been so much going on lately, it's really hard to keep up with everything.

Today was a good day. We went shopping for Christmas, and it was great. We got Emily and Colin done, except for a few small things. We went to K-mart, got a lot of great big toys for both kids, and Joshy, and put it all on lay away, which is great. We have to pick it all up by Dec. 5, so it is really only for about a month, but it works out anyway. I spent $255, and got everything that I wanted for the kids. I will still get them some clothes, and some stocking stuffers, but all and all, I got everything. I was really excited. Now we just have to get for our parents, our pollianas, Jeffrey, Jake and Bella. That won't be too bad. I mainly wanted to get my kids done, and I did.

We went with my sister Kelly. I must say, Emily loves her aunt Kelly. I don't exist when Kelly is around, but it's ok! We really did have a great time, then we went to her place for dinner. She got a kitten a few weeks ago. Her name is Ruby, and she is soooo cute. I loved playing with her, and I know Emily did too. I finally have TJ convinced that Emily would love a kitty. We are discussing getting one from Santa. We aren't 100% sure yet, but we are leaning towards it. Ruby was so much fun, and Emily was really good with her. Ruby is still a little stand offish, but she warmed up fast. She played with me the most, but Emily was holding her and playing with her too. I loved it, she perched herself on my sisters chest and went to sleep. That would be so great for Emily. It would be something Emily could raise herself, since we had Spike before Emily was born. I don't know, we have a lot of thinking to do on it.

We got somewhat good news about my sister. She is still in the hospital, but she should be home tomorrow morning. They have just about completed all the testing, and are pretty sure she has gallstones. They will confirm that late tonight or tomorrow morning. If that is the case, she will be home tomorrow and will have to just let them pass. The nurse told her they can be extremely painful to pass, even worse then natural childbirth. I hope she is ok, I am really worried about her. She is truely my best friend (along with my other sister). She is my support no matter what, and my therapist when I need it. It is really scary to think something could be wrong with her. It really makes you appreciate what you have. Ok, now I have to stop there or I will be a hysterical mess, and keep rambling about nothing.

That's all for now. Just wanted to update while both kids were asleep. Time for bed!

Sleep, or lack there of!

Well, Colin has now decided to protest sleeping at night. I have never had a child that didn't sleep through the night. Emily was the greatest, I have always been able to get 8-12 hours of sleep with her. Colin started the same. From about 5 weeks on, he slept a good 10-12 hours a night. Now in the past month it has been horrible. He only sleeps for like 2 hour increments, and wakes up screaming. I don't understand. I have been chocking it up to teething, but I don't think that is what it is. I am debating on making a doctor appointment, but I don't know if "not sleeping" is really a medical issue. I don't know a lot about it, but I do know "I NEED SLEEP". I am grumpy through the day, and restless all night. It is now to the point that I don't sleep heavy, I just doze in and out because I know he will be up soon! I am going crazy, if it is teething, I hope they come in soon!

Last night my sister went to ER. I am really scared for her, and not sure what is going on. She has been complaining the last couple days of chest pain, and numbness. She has really not been feeling well, so her and her husband decided to go to the hospital last night. They admitted her overnight and are continuing testing. She has a chest scan, and leg scan, to rule out a blood clot and heart attack. They were normal. Today she is having an abdominal scan to rule out her appendix and and ectopic pregnancy. I really scared for her. I couldn't imagine. She has the three boys and her hubby to take care of. I know her hubby is scared out of his mind. I will update more when I know more.

Yesterday, TJ and I sat down and had a really long talk about money. It went much better then I expected. I have made a few mistakes in the past couple months, and me not working in the summer hurt us. Right now, we are not in the best position, not anywhere near where we want to be. I really thought he was going to be very angry with me because I hid it from him, but he was not. He really was understanding. He was disappointed in me just cause I hid it from him, but he wasn't angry at all. I kept waiting for him to explode, but he never did. I now know why we got married, and have made it this far. He is wonderful, and I couldn't ask for better. Now we have to really sit down and figure out how to fix it. I know we will, it will just take a lot of discipline and time.

Tomorrow is my neice, Bella's birthday. She will be one already. I can't beleive it. She is such a beautiful little girl. Spoiled rotten, as all of our kids are. She is definitely a daddy's girl, as my brother is a full-time dad, while his wife works. They are having a party at the Jennersville Y. It is a swimming party, and Emily is soooo excited to go swimming. Emily is a little fish, and I know she is going to have a blast. I am excited to put Colin in the water as well. He has been in the pool before, but the water was just too cold. The pool tomorrow with be indoors and very warm. We'll see.....

I am kinda on call this weekend. Our friends are due to have their twins any day now. He works really far away, and this weekend he is on night shift. I told her to call me, no matter what time, if she needs anything at all. I know sometimes people say things that they don't mean, but I really mean it, and I hope she knows that. I have lots of family local, and she really doesn't. I would love to help them, and maybe be part of this miraculous birth. I am so excited for them. Bringing one baby into this world is a miracle in itself, but to bring two is phenomenal. They are such a great couple, and this was meant to be for them. I can't wait to meet the girls, and tell them how lucky they are to have such a wonderful mommy and daddy. I know this pregnancy has been really hard on her, and I know she is at the end of her rope. I keep telling her this will be over soon enough, but I know that doesn't help her. I will keep them in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope anyone reading my blog will do the same.

My birthday is coming up soon! I am usually excited for it every year, but for some reason this year is different. It almost like it isn't even coming. I don't know, maybe I am just stressed and tired, and don't really care. It is just another day, right? It's not like it is a huge milestone, I will only be 27. Now that I say the, it does sound kinda old. LOL! Oh well, another year, no big deal. Rigth after my birthday come Christmas, oh boy! I am so not ready for that this year. I usually get excited right about now for Christmas, but this year is different, due to money. I know it will all fall into place, and we will be just fine, I just have to get out of this funk I am in. I need to perk up, and get my act together. I think today we will go to K-mart and put all the toys for the kids on lay-away! I know they have a good sale this weekend, and we can put it on lay away, and pay on it weekly. It's much easier to make weekly payment, then to drop a couple hundred buck at one time! Maybe that will get me in the spirit.

I think I will finish this up, I have just about poured my heart out, and now I have to get ready to Christmas shop! I will update again soon!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Just can't keep up!

I try everyday to post to my blog, obviously with no success. My days don't seem to get any easier, nor do they seem to get any longer. I wish there was just a few more hours to get everything done. By the time I get home from work, cook, eat and cleanup dinner, bathe both chitlens, shower myself, get my bag ready for the next morning, it is usually 10pm, and I am like a zombie. The weekends are supposed to be my relax time LOL! I haven't relaxed in a long time. There is always something to do, I can't imagine what life will be like when Emily and Colin get into school programs. Ok now that just made me want to cry.

So, I went to the eye doctor the other day, that was a disaster. I had to take both kids with me, so I couldn't complete the exam, nor could I get fitted for contacts. She told me I need to have corrective lenses on at all times. My right eye is straining a great deal, trying to make up for my left eye. Pretty much, I am blind in my left eye, and my right eye needs help before it goes blind too. Wow, that makes me feel so old. I don't want to wear contacts, but I refuse to wear glasses full-time, so I'm gonna give 'em a try. We'll see. I post next week about that (time willing)!

Well the kids are doing great as ever. Colin is getting so much more active. He talks and makes noises all the time. He love to watch his sister all the time. He will laugh at her in ways that make me jealous. She just dotes on it, and keeps making him laugh. She always wants to hold him, kiss him, and hug him. She has turned into quite the lover. She is very affectionate, always giving kisses. I have to watch her, she will hug and kiss just about everyone. She constantly tells us she loves us. Anyone who has children can respect the feeling you get when your child tells you she loves you. It melts my heart everytime. She reminds me all the time, why I wanted children. I just gave Colin a bath tonight, and he just loves kicking and splashing around. He just smiles and laughs. Emily, on the other hand, would rather take a shower like a big girl, and be done. I love the stage they are both in right now, but I know it won't last. I miss when she was little like Colin, but look forward to when she grows older. It's all so scary and exciting at the same time.

Better go, duty calls, and it's way past bed time.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sunday, Sunday!

This week has been a fun-filled, chaotic week. We had a busy day on Monday taking Colin to the doc, and then the weekend was full of events. Yesterday we had a playdate and dinner with Matt, Lindsay, Grace and Evan. The girls always seem to have a hard time warming up to each other, but by the end of the night it's not tooo bad. They are girls, and of course they want to play with the same things. It was fun, they played with Playdoh, which Emily has never played with. She loved it, and I think we are going to get her some for home. We got to see Lindsay and the growing babies in her belly. She looks great, especially for carrying twins.

Today we went to a party for TJ's real dad's parents. They just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. 50 years, wow! TJ and his real dad don't really have a relationship, and have had a hit or miss couple years. It was really nice to see his dad and his girlfriend, as well as meet all his uncles and cousins. Everyone was so nice and loving, and the love between his grandparents is unreal. They are still sooo in love after all those years. It really did turn out to be great. We were both really hesitant on going, and in the long run, it was a great decision. I am glad we went, and so is TJ.

In the middle of the week I got a call about my second cousin. My cousin, Kimmy, passed away. She is actually my second cousin, and she was only in her early 30's. She was diagnosed with breast cancer about 3 years ago, when her twins were born. She used a lot of medical help to get pregnant. They tried for years using IVF. Finally she got pregnant with twin boys. After having the boys she was having troubles breast feeding. After many doctor appts, they did a mammogram and found the cancer. After several treatments, she finally had a double mastectomy, and a complete hysterectomy (sp?), they also found possible cancer in her uterus and ovaries. After a short battle, they thought she was in remission. Then just a last year, the cancer was back, and just in the past 6 months they found several tumors on her brain stem, all of which were inoperable. She has been completely bed ridden for months, and almost comotose in the past few weeks. On Thursday at 4:15 she passed away. I didn't know her very well, she lived near the city, on the main line. She was happily married with two beautiful baby boys, about 4 years old. I am just devastated, not because I knew her, because she left behind such an incredible life. I know, everyone always says, it's all a plan, but what kind of plan is that. Her boys will never know what a loving, exceptional mother they had. They are too young to remember now. I just don't understand, I guess I never will.

I really hope this week starts and ends on a good note. Of course it is Halloween week, wahoo. We are dressing Emily up as a ballerina. Lindsay's mom makes this cute little tu tu's and I am getting one for Emily. I can't wait!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

So Much!

Well, again, it has been way too long since my last blog. I couldn't sum everything up in enough space, it would take days. I just have a couple things. Things have been really crazy lately, crazier then normal. Work is busy for TJ, which is odd considering the market right now. The bus is the same, and home is, well, home! The kids are doing good. We had a little snaffoo with Colin, but it seems to be ok. Since birth he has problems with his bowels. He just can't go normally. He has been completely dependant on Miralax, since about 2 weeks old, by docs orders. We finally went to see a GI Specialist at CHOP. He was great, and ordered a couple text. One being a blood test to check his thyroid, and the other being a Barium Enema. The blood test was simple. He sat there like such a brave little man, never really cried when the put the needle in. We went for the BE yesterday in King of Prussia. That was really not too bad. They put a small tube in his rectum, and pumped his bowels full of a water based liquid and took a bunch of x-ray pictures. The doc there said everything looked fine. Again, my little man never even cried. He was such a champ. The x-ray tech said she has never seen an adult, let alone a baby take the enema so well. He was excellent. Everything was great then, but the saying what goes in must come out, is an understatement for our afternoon. He pooped so much in a short amount of time, and mostly liquid. I changed his outfit 3 times, and ran out of diapers and wiped. Thank Goodness my neice wears the same size. I never need to steal them from my brother, because we never made it on our bus. He was just going and going and going so much, I had to call out for the afternoon. We are better now, just waiting on a call from the GI Specialist at CHOP to call us with the next step. We'll see, I just wish he could go like normal.
Emily has been great. She is getting smarter by the day. She is like a grown women, in a 2 year-old body. She is starting to become more of a girly girl. She likes her nails painted, and now we have to blow out her hair (it looks really cute straight), and she likes when mommy puts blush on her cheeks. She is so full of energy, and honestly she keeps me on my toes. She has a new comment every day. She is full of imagination, and happiness. I love listening to her play, and hear the way she talks. I could go on for hours on end about my baby girl. She is truely a blessing and I can't wait to see what she comes up with next.
We've had a couple rough weeks lately with so many aspects of life, and it seems to be getting better. Money of course, is always a rough part. We are surviving, just a little nervous for Christmas, but we will make it work like always. I can't wait, this year should be fun with Emily.
Our friends are expecting twins soon, I hope later. She has been having quite a bit of trouble lately. I just wish there was more I could do. She has two little ones already, and is only about 7 weeks from her full-term date. She has been having contractions and dilations in the past week or two. I really hope those babies can hold out a little longer. I think they will be just fine either way, but I am sure mommy would feel better if they could wait just a few more weeks. She looks great though, considering. I know she probably doesn't think so, but she really does. We are supposed to have dinner with them on Saturday, babies willing! I hope we do, we always have a good time.
I better go for now, babes are going to start getting hungry. I will post soon!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Trying to keep up!

It's Sunday, and I am sooo sad the weekend is already coming to an end. I enjoy my weekends so much, especially considering that is the only time TJ and the kids get to spend quality time. Today we have dinner at my parents house for my dads birthday. He turned 50 on thursday. I love going to their house for dinner. Emily has so much fun running around and playing with pop-pop. They have a basketball net, a big driveway to ride bikes and a huge yard. I haven't really seen my parents since the party two weeks ago. That is not usual for us, I usually see my mom at least twice a week, but things have just been crazy. I know Emily misses her pop-pop.
Yesterday we went to the Christiana Fire Co. Auction. I had a good time, and I didn't even buy anything. I got a couple little crafts for $10. I was so proud of myself, I have a history of spending way too much money there. Emily played hard all day, which was nice for last night. Then we drove to Lancaster for nothing, TJ wants a pair of sneakers, but can't find any. The we hung our at my sisters for a while. Our cousin, that we don't ever see, came up out of the blue. He lives in the Philly area. He is such a great guy, and is great with the kids, he just hasn't been dealt the best hand. I love him, and he is finally getting somewhere with things. I am so proud of him for everything he has done.
I think Colin is getting sick all over again! UGH! He took his antibiotic, and it went away. Now, a week later, the cough is coming back. We'll see. He goes to the doctor for his 4 month visit (I know a little late) this week, so we'll see then.
Gotta go, the kids are in rare form, and TJ is ready for a break, ha ha ha! I will post more when I have time!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

B***H Session!

I am at a point in my life where I think about so many things daily. It is driving me crazy, and the local news right now is not helping me. I am so afraid of my husband losing his job. I know that this financial crisis does not effect us right now, but eventually it could. His company is all about home remodeling, renovations and new construction of homes. What happens when the housing market completely crashes? Where does that leave his company? I know I am thinking to far into it at this point, but we have two children, we were looking forward to shop for a house in the spring, and now what? I can't even type fast enough to keep up with my mind about this, so that is it for this!
I don't know who watches the news, but I don't get many opportunities. I finally got to watch the other day, and I watched a broadcast of my worst nightmare. A week or so ago, a house caught fire in Coatesville city. There was 5 people in the house, including 3 kids. Unfortunately the rescue efforts were not fast enough, and the 3 children parished. I was devastated. I didn't know the family, but my heart broke for them. I wished there was something I could do. It was a women's only two children and her brother. It brings tears to my eyes right now just thinking about it. Not only did I feel for her, I kept putting myself in the position. At this point I fear putting my kids to bed, because of the "what if?". I could not go on without my children. Ok, now I have to move from this subject as well, it is just toooo hard to think about!
Well this week has been one bad day after another. Yesterday topped to cake! My work day was horrible, and I won't get into that, noone would understand. On the way home I must have run over a bolt and it caught in my tire. I pulled over when we heard this clunking noise. It didn't blow my tire, but it was big enough that you could hear it when my wheel went around. So I called TJ, of course he is angry, as if I did it on purpose. He came to put my spare on, and the spare was really low on air. Needless to say, he was irate at this point, the kids are screaming, we are arguing, and can't drive the car to get air. Thank god my brother-in-law has a portable air compressor. I took the kids home in TJ's truck, while he waited for Jeff. When I got home Emily was throwing a tantrum because we left her daddy. Long story short, what started as a bad day quickly became a horrible, ugly, unbearable day! So he called me today to tell me that the tire can't be fixed, and a new tire, mounted and balanced would cost $125. I tell ya, the more steps you take ahead, you take double steps backwards. We were finally starting to get caught up from summer, and now this. Whatever, it's not like I had a choice, and complaining isn't going to make it better. Just wondering when the tiny little light at the end of the tunnel starts becoming a reality?

Sunday, September 28, 2008

It's been a while!

Life has been so crazy, mommy, wife, work, family, there is just no time for anything else. We have been really busy with family stuff and work, since I picked up a noon run three days a week. We are all doing really well. We all just got over a nasty bug going around. Colin has bronchitis, and I think he passed that to me, so now I am getting over a nasty cough. We had him at the doc and they told me it was just allergies, but I insisted it was more, so they ordered a chest x-ray. Thank god, he was diagnosed with advanced stages of bronchitis, the next stage would have been rsv, and hospital time. I was irate that the doc just shrugged it off as allergies. Needless to say, we are hunting for a new pediatrician, so if you have one to recommend please do so. Emily is doing great, she avoided the sickness. She is still potty training, and doing so great. She only wears a diaper on the bus, mainly because she sleeps on the bus, and bed time. She pooped on the potty for the first time last weekend, and we were so proud of her. Crazy how something so gross can make a person so happy. She was so proud of herself, we had to call everyone in the family and announce it at dad's party.
Last weekend we threw my dad a surprise 50th party. He was really surprised, and it turned out great. We had so much fun, and it really meant a lot to my family to do this for him. We have been through some really rough times in the last 10 years, and this was just a huge milestone in our lives. Dad deserves all the good things that come to him. He has been at rock bottom, and has worked harder then most to get back to the top. I can honestly say, this is the happiest and most in love I have ever seen my parents. It is truly inspiring. They have been married for 30 years, and have literally been through hell and back, but still remained strong. My parents prove that if you work hard, beleive in love and faith, it can last forever. My mom was pregnant with my sister at 16, married at 17 and had four kids by 22. Who would have ever thought they would make it this far. I am so proud of them, and can only hope TJ and I can do the same.
We are back to work at full speed. It is harder this year then last with having two kids now. It's not too bad, but it has its moments. I got very lucky with my kids this year. I have a great group of kids and no major problems. I started a mid-day run, kindergarten. It's not too bad, but it makes for a long day on the bus. We do have a break between runs, about and hour, and we only do the run three days a week. It's not bad, and we really need the extra money. I am sooo happy to be back to work, and in a schedule again!
We are super excited it is fall again. This is my favorite time of year, I love everything about it. The colors, the smells, the weather.... it is perfect. I already decorated my house for fall, with pumpkins, leaves and really smelly pumpkin candles. It is great. Now I am trying to figure out what the kids are going to be for trick-or-treat. I was thinking of making Emily a cat and Collie a cow. The are easy to make myself, and comfy for the kids to wear. We'll see... I am excited, we are actually looking for a sitter for the 31st. We are going to take the kids trick-or-treating, then we want to go to a halloween party. This will be the first time leaving both kids. I really need the break though. I am ready to relax, have a drink and enjoy an adult evening. I don't know who we are going to get to sit with the kids though, I have some time to think on it.
Our wedding anniversary is coming up on the 9th. I have off work that day, just an inservice day. I really want to plan a special dinner for when TJ comes home from work. I can't beleive we have been married for 4 years already. I remember the day so vividly. Amazing how much my love has grown for him since then. We have been together 10 total years, WOW! We are doing so great now, marriage has a way of changing things without really changing them. I know that doesn't make sense, but some of you may understand it. I love my husband in ways I never thought possible. I can remember when we were teenagers and just running around, being kids. TJ and I have been together since right before my 16 birthday, isn't that crazy?!?!? Sometimes it feels like just yesterday, and other times it feels like eternity. It's crazy, I could not imagine my life without him, especially now with the kids. He is the best husband and father. He works very hard to support our family, and he loves our children soooo much. The kids adore him, they just look at him in a way that makes me jealous. He is my soul mate, my love, my life and I can't wait for the next 50 years.
We helped my sister move into a new place a few weeks ago. It is so nice. At first I was really nervous, it didn't look like the nicest place, it reeked of dog, and it needed a lot of work. But in a very short amount of time, she made it look fabulous! It is soooo nice, and I am kinda jealous of her. It is perfect for her, with the exception the the stairs, but I think she is really happy, and so are we for her. It's amazing what a fresh coat of paint, a carpet cleaner and some decor can do to a place. She made it home, and I couldn't be more happy for her. My brother and his wife have been talking alot about selling their plave and buying a new home, I just hope they can wait it out. I just don't think it is a good time to get involved in that, with the economy right now. I know they are trying to get pregnant again, and need a third bedroom, but I think if they wait they can get so much bigger and better. We'll see, it's their life and I won't get involved. My other sister is getting ready to better the home they have. I think they are getting all new windows and siding. It will look so nice when they are done. The have a great house, in a great location, and with the updates it will be even better. I hope they get it done soon! Jeff got the job with TJ, and I think it is working out ok. That is how he is getting the house done, he gets great pricing on the materials.
I better get cleaning, it's Sunday, my only day to clean. TJ is working on a side job today, and the kids are occupied. I will try to post soon, hopefully sooner then the last time.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

3 Down, 177 To Go!

We started school/work again! Wow, it has been super, super hot!!!!! It was beautiful all last week, and of course our first day on the bus, it was 92 hot and humid, and has stayed that way all week. It has been a great transition though, a little easier than expected. Colin just fell into place, and Emily has been such a big girl! She remembers from last year how we do things on the bus. She has been so great waking up, a little grumpy and whiny, but what do you expect at 5 am. She has been staying awake on the bus, it doesn't make a difference to me whether she naps or not. Colin sleeps the whole time on the bus. So much the kids keep asking if he is real! LOL! He has only cried a little when we are sitting still at the schools, but nothing tooo bad. I count my blessing everyday, my children are so great! The bus has been interesting. My high school student count has tripled, middle and elementary stayed the same. I love my middle this year. I have a great group of kids. My high school doesn't make a difference, they are adults and I treat them like it. My elementary is a large group, but they are great. I have 9 pm kindergarteners. That will be interesting. Today will be the first day I have all of them on at the same time. I really love my kids! My new bus is cool, it really hauls butt! It is a lot nicer then my original bus, and I really like it. It is much roomier, and it has a nicer interior.

Gotta go, my oven doesn't seem to want to work, my daughter is beyond out of control today, Colin is sleeping and the dog is barking! My life! LOL!

Monday, September 1, 2008


So my mother-in-law calls and talks to TJ the other day. Apparently she said she was taking both kids for a few hours on Monday! Well I told TJ I was not ok with that, and I didn't think it was a good idea. She called last night and TJ told her it was fine, and be here at 1:30. What nerve. I am so angry, annoyed! Why would he do that, especially when I told him how I felt. I was so upset all night, I couldn't beleive it. The worst part is, he wouldn't even talk to me about it. He kept saying, "what was I going to do?" I would have told my mom no, we aren't ready yet. I just don't get it. He cannot stand up to her and that makes me angry. Whenever she is around I put on a happy face, smile and just pretend, not today. I am so angry, I might put both kids down for a nap at 1, so she can't take them. I don't trust her, I don't like her, and I am sooo not ready to be without both my kids. She is practically a stranger in our lives. She never comes around, we only see her when we go to see TJ's grandmother at HH. When we go there she acts like the prodical grandmother. I hate it, she knows nothing about my kids, she doesn't know how to feed Colin (he is a difficult eater), and she won't listen to anything I say. She did this with Emily when she was a couple months old, and Emily came back completely off schedule and out of whack. It took me days to get things normal again, this time I don't have days, we go back to work tomorrow! I am so upset, but what am I going to do about it. It's too late because my husband can't stand up to his mother.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

One more day!

Well tomorrow is my last day before I head back to work. I am super excited, we got a newer bus. I went to see and drive my bus on Thursday, and I love my new bus. It is much roomier and nicer and cleaner and runs better then my old bus. I got the kids seats belted in and ready to go, my assigned seats are hanging ready for the little ones, all my pictures are up and looking great! I am sooooo excited, it will be so great once we are back on track. I also picked up an extra run a couple days a week, so that will not only pay more, it will give us less idle time to do nothing. We will keep busy, busy, busy.

We had a yard sale yesterday! It was great. We sold all of the clunky, big stuff that we were storing, which was great. We sold our old travel system to the absolute nicest amish girl, her name was Rachel. She was such a sweetheart. I offered to drop it off at her house, considering she was riding a scooter. We went there and she stood and chatted for a good ten minutes. She was young, but already had a couple kids. She lived right outside of town. I was very happy to meet her. We sold a lot of stuff, not so much baby clothes, which I was hoping for, but we sold everything else, so we just gave our baby clothes to other people who may need them. We gave all the newborn to 3 month clothes to our friends Matt and Holly. Their little Bethany was born like 2 weeks ago, and she is such a little peanut. They didn't know it was a girl, so she is still wearing all the yellow and green, until now, we gave them nothing but pink and purple. I know they are grateful, and appreciate out thoughtfulness.

Today we are going to a picnic for one of TJ's friends. Well we are all social, but only because of TJ and Ryan. They just had their second son on July 8. He is such a cutie in all the pictures, I can't wait to meet him in person. We have gifts for them, and we don't get to see them that often, so it should be a blast. Their first son is the same age as Emily, and I think they should play well together. We'll see......

I think that is all for now. I will try to post later.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

5 More Days!

It's been a couple days, but not much has been going on. I have had some really good days with my sister and brother. We went shopping yesterday, the mall, Old Navy, Dick's, PetSmart. We had a blast, except pushing 4 kids around in strollers was fun. Older people just don't have the patience or courtesy to deal with strollers. We were ran into, cut off, cursed at, just because we had strollers. Wow, I didn't realize how rude people can be.

Tomorrow I get to see my bus, drive around, get my stuff situated. I can't wait. I think I got a newer bus this year, which is a big step compared to what I had last year. I am sooooo excited, I can't wait to go back to work. The normalcy, the money, the routine, the busy-ness ( I don't even know if that is a word). I need to get back to normal and make some money. I know I mention money all the time, but when you don't have any, it seems to constantly be on your mind. At least we will be ready for next summer. It certainly was a shock this summer. We will survive and overcome, I know we will. I just have to really get disciplined with money, and I have always had a problem with that.

We are starting to think about buying a house. Next year we will have a lot paid off, it should save us about $900 to $1200 a month in bills. We have a couple mistakes we made a while ago, and now we are paying our dues. We will have half that by March, and the other half by October of next year. We have TJ's 401k that he is now full vested and can take a hardship withdrawal, so we can afford to buy a house. We can afford a mortgage right now, we just can't come up with a down payment or closing costs. If we use his 401k we will have that, plus some to pay off some other stuff. Hopefully we will be looking seriously by spring. I hope so, I need to get out of this apartment, I need a yard, a driveway, I just need a change.

Well, it's that time, gotta get dinner cooking, my hubby will be home any minute. Amazing how much I look forward to seeing him at the end of a work day. I love him so much!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

My Big Girl!

My baby girl is wearing big girl panties and goes on the big girl potty. I am so proud of her, considering she had no interest about 2 weeks ago. She still has some accidents, and she won't go #2 on the potty, but I will take anything right now. In the past three days, we have only used a total of six diapers, compared to the average 6 a day. I am so proud of her, I am trying to think of something really fun and exciting to do for a present. She obviously doesn't sleep without a diaper and she has been so tired the last couple days she has taken a nap, that is it. It is kinda bittersweet, I can't beleive my little girl is potty training.

And my baby boy.... he is so big already, I feel like the past three months flew. Can you beleive he is already eating fruits and veggies, and he eats them well! He is such a happy baby, he smiles from the time he wakes, till he falls asleep. I still can't beleive I am a mommy of two, and how fast the time flies when you have kids. My heart is so full, I couldn't ask for a better life right now, maybe more money! LOL!

My parents bought a new motorcycle. I am so happy for them. The smile on my dads face was priceless. I think their love for the motorcycle has helped them with their relationship. I am jealous, I wish I could love it as much as my mom does. I just can't get into it like that. I am just not meant to be a Harley Chick, like my mom. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my husband, but riding on the back of his bike for hours on end, it just doesn't appeal to me. I will do it occasionally, which will become a lot less now with two kids. When TJ rides his bike that is my time to hang with my sisters, or just clean and veg at home and his time to be him and do something he loves.

Gotta go, potty time!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

It's been awhile!

The last time I posted, we were getting ready to leave for the beach, and now we are ending our vacation, and TJ goes back to work. The beach was fun, we had to jump a couple hurdles to get there, but it was good. We were pulled over by state police on the way down, he let us go on a warning. I forgot a whole suitcase in PA. We just went to Walmart and replaced the necessaties. Saturday and Sunday, I had somekind of infection in my eye. I don't think it was pink eye, but it was really red, it didn't itch though. I know it sounds horrific, but it really was a good trip. We are going to do it again next year. I know we said we weren't but that is the only thing we do all year, and Emily loved it, and I am sure Colin will love it next year. Emily had so much fun, at the beach, on the boards, on the rides and eating ice cream. She had ice cream everyday, which is not the norm for us. She loved it all. We got the old time photos done with all the kids. My mom wanted one of all six grandkids, and we each wanted individuals with our kids. They turned out great. All the kids did great, and the photographer was excellent. He was so awsome with all the kids. We came home on Tuesday, which worked so great for everyone. TJ was still on vacation, although he is working a side job today. We have just enjoyed his time off, and beleive me, I have enjoyed it the most. He has been such a help with the kiddos. He has changed just about all diapers, helped with bath time. It has been so wonderful having him home, I am so sad it is almost over. The kids have been going to bed at 8:30, so we have been snuggling on the sofa till late, watching tv, or just talking. We have been making late-night snacks and just enjoying each other. I am soooo going to miss that when we all go back to work. Yesterday we spent the whole day at Jenn's. We were cutting corn to freeze. That was actually pretty fun. She does it every year, this is the first time I helped. It was pretty easy, once you got the hang of it. Now it will freeze, and we can steal a bag whenever we want. It really was just a good reason to get Emily out of the house to play. On Thursday we stopped by Harrison House to see his great grandmother. God bless her, she is 97 years old, and still acts like shes 70. She was having a really good day, which aren't so often now. TJ was very pleased with the visit, which he usually leaves visits really down. She looks great, she remembered us, and she was up and about. I was so glad TJ saw her like that. I fear the if she should pass soon, he will have a bad vision of her in his head. I think he really needed to see her like that. She got to see both kids, which is my goal, I want Emily to know who she is, and she finally does.

What now..... Well TJ goes back to work on Monday. We go back to work next Tuesday. I can't wait. I got my run, and it is great, all the same kids. I am so excited to see everyone. This week will be pretty uneventful, until the end. I have no plans for Mon-Wed. So I will probably hang out at home or at Jenn's. Oh wait.... Monday we will be getting up really early to see Jacob off to his first day of kindergarten. I am so excited for him, he already met his teacher, and he is so excited. So Monday will be fun, we will also go see him off the bus. So Tues & Wed, are going to be pretty slow. Then on Thursday, I have to go to my bus, put my car seats in, get it ready for the first day of school, check over for any damage (yay, I got a new bus this year) and do a dry run to make sure I know where I am going. Then that afternoon, I have to go to my Elementary School to meet and greet all my students and their families. This will be so great, everyone has been waiting to meet the baby. I don't even think they know his name yet. It will really be nice to actually talk to some of the parents, rather then have to rush off. Then Friday and Sat are again uneventful. Sunday we have a picnic/ baptism picnic to go to for our friends. Well we are not really friends, our husbands are. Their little guy is about 5 weeks younger then Colin, and their older son is about 6 weeks behind Emily. It is really cool. We have gifts for them, and have been trying to set something up, and now we are finally going to see them.

OK I think I have rambled enough. I haven't blogged in a week, and you can tell. I am sure I will have more to say soon!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Friday.... again!

We leave for the beach tomorrow morning around 8ish. I can't wait. I am not all that excited to go to the beach, just over excited to spend quality time with my hubby and kids, all the while getting far away from home. We are going to have a good time, it just sucks preparing for a 4 day trip away, especiallly with 2 kids.

So I am sitting here waiting on my sister, we have some last minute errands to run before the beach. She is always late, for everything. I love her to death, she just seems to not tell time. I have been waiting for about an hour, maybe a little more, and still no sign of her. I totally understand though, she has 3 kids. I have a hard time being on time with just two, and hers are all old enough to hinder her. I know she is looking forward to Jake going to kindergarten this year, that means one more to go! I sure am going to miss him. He is such a lover, and I love being able to see him everyday on the bus, now I won't see him ever. I know Emily and Josh are going to miss him too. As much as they fight, they really do love each other.

I guess that is it for now. I thought if I got on here I could waste some time before she got here, but still no sign of her. I will post more when I get home from the beach!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Hump Day!

TJ is going to be late tonight coming home from work. One of the guys that works with them for the summer is leaving next week, while we are on vacation, and they wanted to take him out for drinks. I think that is cool, and I don't mind, but darn it, when do I get to go for drinks. I know TJ wouldn't mind me going for drinks, I just don't have the time or the people. All the people I would love to have drinks with either live too far away or have kids or are pregnant. Maybe next summer! LOL!

I don't have much to say today, so this should be short. I am having major trouble sleeping for some reason. So last night I watched the whole broadcast of the Olympics. WOW, the Phelps guy, he is a bullet in the water. He is inspiring, his dertermination, his drive, his power. It is unbelievable to watch him. Now, the girls gymnastics, they are a different story. They were a big disappointment, I really thought they were going to go for gold, but they really botched that. I also watched the mens volleyball. I have always loved volleyball, and TJ used to play in a league, and I loved watching him. Those men are powerful. The one guy served a ball at 78mph. Who in the world would try to stop that, no wonder they are winning. I hope to watch again tonight after the kiddies are sleeping. Blues Clues is on now, and Emily is dancing and singing along. She does watch a lot of tv, but only shows she learns from, ie.. Blues Clues, Jack's Big Music Show, Max & Ruby, Franklin... etc. I know not all are major education, but Max & Ruby teaches her how to treat her little brother, and how to share. I really like that Noggin channel, and we love love love Moose & Zee and Chick & Fluff. I love all the music and dancing. We sing along all the time. OK that was totally off course.

I am going to end now, I think my dinner is burning and Blues Clues is over.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

It is what it is!

Wow, I wish it was Saturday already. We are leaving for the beach then, and I really need that vacation. I miss my husband, and really need to spend time with him. He works so much to support us, and when he is not working he is spending much needed time with the kids. I am not complaining about him spending time with the kids, I just need some Molly and TJ time, without the kids. It just seems once we think they are both sleeping or napping, one wakes up or something else comes up. At the beach it will be strictly family time, and with my extended family there, we can get a small break if we need it. I am excited, yet sad that this will probably be the last year we go to the beach for awhile. It is just too much to get all the family together, with all the kids. It is wayyy toooo expensive, and we would much rather spend 4 or 5 days in the mountains, riding 4 wheeler or just relaxing. Going to the beach is just not relaxing with kids, especially toddlers. The constant worry of someone just picking your child up and rolling is just too much for me. I have a fear of someone taking my kids, and it gets worse at the beach. At the beach Emily has so many restrictions because of the amount of strangers and unknowns. At the mountains, there are no limits, no traffic, no strangers, it is just our family and the wilderness. She can run, run, run with no rules. The beach is just too much, and next year I will have two toddlers running around, NO WAY!

I just went grocery shopping and it disgusts me. The price of everything is sooooo high, it is ridiculous. I have just come to realize, we are and forever will be a $200 biweekly grocery bill. It is ridiculous. Between, diapers, formula, food, hygiene there is just no break. Walmart is not much of a price break, but Dutchway is way too expensive. I must say, Walmart wasn't too bad today. They got new carts, and surprisingly the cart with the extra seats in the front for the little ones was perfect for us. Emily did so well.

I bought a stroller on Ebay! I got it today, and I was so nervous, but it turned out great. We had been shopping for a while for a double stroller, which are so pricey. We finally decided to just borrow a friends when we needed one, until we decided to take a walk around town with Colin in the stroller for the first time (I carried him in a chest carrier, but he is now toooooo big and heavy). So when we put him in the stroller Emily had a tantrum because he was in her stroller. Needless to say, we had to put Emily in the umbrella stroller and Colin in the big stroller, and the TJ had the dog, it was a disaster. We ended up buying a Combi double in Turquoise. It is great, I am so happy with it. We are going for a walk tonight to test it out. I thought it was the bottom line Combi, but when I got the manual for it, I realized it is originally a $250 stroller, I got it for $100. I am so proud of myself, usually I would just buy the pricier one, not caring. Not this time, I did my research and waited for the right thing. I am so glad. I am getting a little better at my impulse shopping.

We went to mom and dad last night for dinner, that was fun as usual. It is usually great when all four kids get together, I think it becomes hectic at times with the spouses and kids. We had an ok time last night. TJ and I had a little tiff, as usual. We just can't seem to get along as well as normal when we are around my family. Last night was my fault and I admit it. I snapped at him about something so stupid, and I treated him not so good. I apologized to him, but I still don't think that was enough. I feel bad, and I hate when that happens. I hope we can have a great week next week while he is on vacation, I know we will. We pulled pollianna's for x-mas, and we are very pleased with who we got, Kelly and Jeff. They are easy to buy for!

Gotta go, Emily is now begging to take a bath, I know it is only 3:30, but she wants one, and I don't feel like arguing with her. It will save me time tonight at bedtime.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Both kids napping!

Don't ask how I did it, considering Emily does not usually nap, but I did. I talked Emily into a nap, she was up so early this morning because of the fire whistles, and TJ leaving for work. I tried to get her to go back to sleep this morning, but she wasn't having it. I told her that we were going to play with Grace and Evan today, she fought me for a little while, but she finally went to sleep. Colin, he is "joe cool", I had no problem with him. Of course I have both kids asleep, and TJ is still not home. He is helping another friend move a swing set, I thought he would be home by now. If he were home, I probably wouldn't be writing this post. I don't mind that he helps friends, but he hasn't been home since 6:30 this morning. I miss my husband. I can't wait until next Saturday. TJ starts his vacation, and we leave for the beach. We will be home on Tuesday, but Tj has the rest of the week off, so we are going to do a lot of family time. The kids really need to spend one on one with him. They are so tired of being with me. On Wednesday, after the beach, I have a meeting for my work, it is mandatory, so TJ will have the kids alone for about 3 hours. I know he can handle it, especially considering it is in the morning, so Colin will sleep most of the time, but that is good for TJ and Emily. I know I am rambling about nothing, but that is what I do more often than not.

My sisters texted me this morning. They both got new 4 wheelers. I am jealous, I don't want a 4 wheeler, but I want something new. I wish we weren't so tight on money, I would love to get TJ a 4 wheeler. I wish I could, but right now our priority it to find a better, bigger place to live. We are comfy here, and it works for us, but we need to upgrade. It is so hard, we pay so little rent, we are having a hard time swollowing higher rent or a mortgage for that matter. We love our landlord also, which make it hard to leave, but eventually we aren't going to fit in this apartment anymore, and we will have to move on. I would love to be in a new place by x-mas, but I know that is pretty far-fetched. We'll see, maybe.... keep your fingers crossed for us.

Well, I better go, we are having dinner with friends at 3, it's almost 2 and I still haven't gotten dressed, and TJ is still not home. This should be interesting!

Friday, August 8, 2008


It's finally Friday, not that means anything in my non working world. It does mean that TJ will be home all weekend, but not really, considering he works on Saturday morning, then right after work he is helping our friends move a swingset. So I won't see him until about 1, then we are having dinner with other friends at 3. We are excited to have dinner with them though, it is nice to talk to people who understand us, and TJ and Matt always have a good time. They both work so hard and it's nice to get them together.

Excuse me if I am scattered today. I have so many silly thoughts in my head. It's weird, the things you think about when you have no other adults to talk to. My first complaint is: How do you just fall out of love with your spouse? I don't understand that statement. My sister and I were talking about a few people we know, and we just don't understand it. My only thought is, they just didn't love in the first place. They may have thought they did, but there is no way you just one day fall out of love with the person you claimed you loved enough to commit your life to them. When I said "I do" it was forever, I just don't beleive in divorce. If that is what works for you fine, but not me. Granted, I have not been put in a situation, but I don't think there is anything that can't be worked out, with time and patience. That is one thing TJ and I agreed on before we even got engaged, Hence the 6 year wait. We waited to be sure it was right, and because we were so young, but in my opinion our age didn't matter. I couldn't imagine after being with TJ for so long, up and leaving, and starting over. Oh my, dating.... I never dated before. I have been with TJ since I was 16, I wouldn't know what to do on a date. Someone very close to me is kinda going through something now. She and her boyfriend just can't seem to agree on their future. They have been together for at least 8 years, and she just doesn't know what to do. They truly love each other, and you can see it! They just can't agree on certain things, that are important to one, but not the other. I hope they can work it out. I love both of them and would not want to lose him in our lives.I think they will, either way, I support any decision she should make.

Told ya... scattered. I just can't beleive how much money plays a part in life. I know everyone probably has this same issue. There is just never enough money. I want, want, want, but can't. It sucks. We have never really had an issue before. We have done pretty well for ourselves. Of course this is my first summer not working, and collecting. Well if you think it is great, IT'S NOT! Yeah, it's great being home with my babies, but I am bored. It's great not being on a stuffy bus in 100 degree weather, but I miss it. I am only making a third of my normal income, and it sucks. We have always been a two income family, and after 6 years of living together, I am not contributing my share. Mentally it is hard because I feel like I am not providing like I should be or have been. Emotionally it is hard because I feel so bad that TJ has to work his tushy off for us, while I am sitting at home. Financially, wow, it is a shocker. We are both counting down the days till I go back. Sept 2, can't come quick enough. It will all work out, it's just a matter of when?

One last gripe, the Tour de Christiana is on Sunday, and it pretty much shuts the town down. Of course, guess who live right in the middle of the race! Pick me!!!! We can't park at our house, if we want to leave town, we have to leave at 10am, and not anticipate returning until 6ish. If we don't want to leave we have to watch the race, which isn't bad, but the sound of the bikes wizzing by our house it bad. It's a really loud "Swish" with a lot of snapping and talking. Of course our windows are about 5 feet from the race, and we can hear it all day with or without the windows open. Of course the amount of people who come from near and far to watch or participate is incredible. Our little town fills up fast. I think Emily would enjoy it, and I know TJ likes it, it is just bothersome on a sunday afternoon. We won't be able to get our cars and park at our home until 7ish.

Well I better get off, I can't seem to make these things only a paragraph. Thank goodness, I spent 8 years at my last job mastering my typing skills. Emily is playing and Colin is sleeping. It's nice to vent and not have to waste someone else's time doing so!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Happy Thursday!

Well last night started out rocky, but it ended on a good note. Sometimes I feel so guilty that I don't work and TJ does, and sometimes I think it bothers him. I try so hard to make it so he has to do nothing at night except, eat and shower. Last night was just the same, but I think he had a not so good day at work, because he was in a not so great mood. He like to detail cars, so he was finishing up the car he is currently doing. I had dinner ready soon after , and by the time he was completely done the car, I had both kids bathed and in pjs, and I was painting Emily's toenails. All he had to do was shower and go to bed. He seemed ok after he showered, and by the time we went to be he is fine. Maybe it was all in my head, probably. I tend to over think things.

Today should shape up to be a good day. I think I am going to finish things up here at home, then we are going to head to my sisters house. Emily loves it there. She can run, scream and play as much as she wants. My sister has a basement full of toys, and a backyard with a huge swingset. She said something about getting out the sprinkler and letting the kids run around in the water. They love that! After that I have to meet TJ at his bosse house right after work. I am a little nervous, I have to drive his boss's Suburban to his house for them. It is a really nice SUV! I am not nervous to drive it, I am nervous I will love it and want one. Oh well, with the prices now adays I could probably afford one. Nobody wants to buy SUV's because of the gas prices. We'll see.... I better get going so I can get done at home. I will post later!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

My First Blog!

Well.... after much consideration, I decided to follow a friend and make a blog. I figured with being home full-time with two kids, this would be my one way to let out a little steam or just say whats on my mind, and beleive me, I have a lot to say!

Well, Emily and Colin are great. They are both growing so fast, it is almost depressing. My baby girl is already 2 1/2 years old. I can't beleive it. She hasn't been to the doc lately, but I am certain she is about 30 lbs. She is so, so, so beautiful. She has curls most women pay to have, and a tan just the same. I am jealous of her skin, she has the most perfect complexion and coloring. She has quite the attitude, just like her momma. She is starting to look more and more like me, not much, but enough that I notice. Colin Michael, well he is a different child all together. He is such a little man. I can honestly say, I didn't think I could love a second child as much as I love Emily, but I do, and it is totally different. He is a momma's boy, which I don't really mind, considering Emily is a daddy's girl. He hardly cries, unless something is wrong. He whines a little when he is hungry and fusses a bit when he needs a diaper change. Other than that, he is great, he sleeps through the night, from about 9pm to 5am, which is the schedule I want him on for when we go back to work. He is a little chunker, I call him "Tubby". At his 2 month check he was 12lb 8oz. Which is 5lbs in a month and a half. He is just a beautiful as his sister, with his skin complexion and tone. I know I sound like a typical mom, but my babies are just perfect.

TJ and I are great! We are better now than we probably ever have been. Marriage is wonderful, of course we have our spats, but we try to keep them simple. We just passed our 10 year anniversary of being together and are coming up on 4 years married. I can't beleive it, 10 years. I am only 26 years old, so you do the math. We have been together for almost half my life. He is truly my soul mate, I don't think anyone else would put up with me. He is so great as daddy too. Colin smiles at him in a way that no one else can make him smile. It makes my heart melt. He is so loving and such a great husband. He supports everything I do, and never second guesses my decision. We have been through some pretty rough situations, and some pretty down times, but somehow we pulled through and made the best of it. I could never imagine my life without him. Sometimes I wonder how people start over after so many years. I could not imagine sharing my intimate moments with someone else, sharing my feelings and thoughts with anyone other then him. He makes me laugh when all I want to do it cry, he makes me smile when I want to be angry, he makes me who I am today, and I am proud to have him as my husband.

I go back to work on Sept. 2, and I can't wait. I have been off work since May 23, and I am soooo ready. Between being bored and not having any money, timing couldn't be better. I still get paid, but it is about 1/3 of my normal pay, but it is hard to make ends meet with that. We have survived our first summer of less pay, and we will survive more summers to come. We will be more prepared for it next time. This summer has been great other than that. We welcomed Colin in May, we went to the mountains for the first time on July 4th, we went back to the mountains on Aug 1st, and now we are getting ready to head to the beach next week. I can't wait. This will be our last hoorah before the summer is over and back to work. Things have been pretty slow other than that. We spend a lot of time with my sister and her kids, and sometimes with my brother and his daughter. We have been to the pool in Quarryville a few time, which is always a lot of fun. We have went to our friends house a few times for dinner, and that is always a good time. They have a little girl the same age as Emily, and a son a little younger. They are now expecting twins in Dec. TJ and him have been friends since high school. TJ was in their wedding. I have become very good friends with her as well. Funny how things change when you get married and have kids. She and I knew each other in high school, but never spoke or hung out. Now that we are married, we have both changed so much, and have much more in common, especially with our kids. It is sometimes nice to know I am not the only women who needs a break sometimes. They have really done a lot for us, especially when we were pregnant with Colin. I am excited to get back to work, so I can afford to do the same for them, especially with two on the way. I am super excited for them, they are such great parents. God blessed her with two more babies because he knew she could handle it, me on the other had, I don't think I could handle it so well. We are actually having dinner with them this weekend. We like going there because we don't have many friends, and it is nice to hang out with people other than my family.

I guess I have made this long enough..... I have had to stop a few times, but my thoughts just keep coming. I think I am going to enjoy this blog. I will post again later.....