Sunday, January 30, 2011

Not what I hoped

I weighed in this morning, and it was not as much as I hoped, but it's better then nothing. I lost another two pounds, making a total of 5 in two weeks. I a proud of myself, yet I am still disappointed. Let's hope next Sunday I can reach my goal of 5lbs in one week.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Weighing in....

Tomorrow is a weigh in day, I try to do it every Sunday as soon as I wake up, I pee and weigh myself completely naked to be as accurate as possible. I am nervous to weigh in, I just don't feel like I am losing weight. I am exercising, I cut my portions, I am drinking more water (than usual) and I am trying some new sit ups and crunches. I am not noticing a differnce yet, except for the pain my muscles feel from the crunches. I really want to lose weight and maybe, just maybe, I am not a patient person. I want to see results fast and I am not. In two weeks we have only had two red meat meals, which is a huge cut from out normal 6-8 red meat meals. I have been trying to eat three smaller meals, with a few small snacks in between (pretzels, popcorn, etc...) and I am feeling great. I am just concerned that the scale is not going to change. I must admit, I am happy with my size, if I could just tone it up. I am comfortable being a the size I am, I am just not happy with the giggly, chubby areas. Boy, oh boy, this is really hard.

We just had dinner at my sisters for Jake's 8th birthday.... where did the last 8 years go? I can't beleive how fast they have passed. We had a good time, I just wish things with my family were the same as they used to be. Sometimes I feel like a stranger around my own family. I am not bashing my family, but honestly sometimes I feel so close to them, but lately I don't. My sisters are my best friends, but recently I have felt like and outsider looking in. I don't know if it's because we are all going our separate ways or that TJ and I are different then them. I dont' know, it could just be me. Oh well, I am sure it's nothing.

We recently started to reunite a past friendship that went wrong a few years back. I think just before TJ and I got married, we were just at different points of our lives and went different paths. Mind you, they were our best friends for a long time, we did everything together, but somehow we lost that. It was probably our fault, as we went through a stage when we didn't want anyone but family, which was wrong because they were part of our family. We have recently been spending more time with them, and I truly enjoy it. They have two children the same age as Emily, and the kids all get along so great. It's crazy how easily we could just pick up where we left off. I truly thought we lost them forever and I am grateful that we didn't. It is so true, you never know what you got till it's gone. There are things that I have shared with her that I would never dare share with anyone else. I have memories with her that still make me smile, and I hope we can continue to make them with our families together. She somehow makes me look at the bigger picture and feel normal. I don't have many girlfriend, as a matter of fact, one other then this particular one, and her and I only have time to talk online. We can never get our schedules to match and when they do it just never works out. I love them both dearly and I am thankful to have both of them.

I am at my whits end with my job, no better yet, I HATE MY COMPANY! There I said it and it felt good. They want us to interact with the students, make the students a priority, but we get in trouble if we interact to much. I love my students and I enjoy a few co-workers, but seriously the company is just flat out stupid. I have put my application in a few places hoping for something in the evening or night so I don't have to worry about childcare. I hope something comes along soon, I am not sure how much more I can take.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Snow's a comin'!

It is supposed to snow/ice/rain tomorrow all day. It should be fun, especially if we go to school on time and get out early. I dread days like tomorrow is shaping up to be. I wish it would just snow or not... this in between sucks.
The working out is going well. This is night two on the next level of the elliptical, and I really do feel great. I am sweating more (fabulous) and I am feeling the workout more (not so fabo). I am adding crunches and stuff as well now. I have had two c-sections, so I have a super pretty "pouch" that seems to get bigger every day. I hope to be able to minimize it, I doubt it will ever go away all together, but boy it would be nice. I would also like to get rid of that spare tire I have been carrying around, you know the one that pops out of the top of my jeans, the one that makes me look like a muffin, yea you know, that one! It's a work in progress, and it is going to very hard, but with a lot of support and determination, I CAN DO IT! I have to keep telling myself that or I will give up! I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

One week down!

So today was exactly one week since I weighed myself for the first time in a long time. I have been watching my portions, using the Elliptical, and drinking more water. My plan is to weigh myself every Sunday, first thing in the morning, in the all natural nude. Much to my surprise, after a crazy week, a week that for three days I did not use the elliptical, and I manage to lose 3 pounds. To most that does not seem like much, but to me it's a huge milestone. I hope next week is more, since I am determined to lose 5lbs a week. I will just have to drink more water, use the elliptical everyday and continue to watch my portions. YAY Me!
We went to State College on Friday with my in-laws, what a great time we had. We took the kids snow tubing on Saturday morning and had a blast. Emily was so great, she was going all by herself and loving every minute of it (boo- my baby is getting to big now), Colin on the other hand, hated every minute of it. He went down once and then played in the snow for two hours while Emily and daddy went up and down. I want to get my sisters together and take the big kids up for a day trip. It would be so fun.
We have a birthday party today for a friend's son. He turns six, and this is the first party we have been invited to. We have been friends with them forever (literally, I have known him since the day I was born) and his wife quickly became my best friend for years. When we got married we kind of lost touch (don't have any reason) and hadn't spoken for awhile. I can honestly say, I missed their friendship and the girly talks, and the time lost. I am so glad we have moved on and reconnected. I am so happy to part of their lives and that our kids get along so great. I hope this is a start to something really fabulous.
I don't have much time, but I want to get this off my chest. 2010 was a really hard year for our family. We lost many people we loved dearly, and made many mistakes that we can't take back, we were irresponsible with money, and lazy with activities. This year is going to be different, come hell or high water. I vow to make the changes in our lives that will better us all around. I will get into all of that later. It's party time!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Snow Day!

Yesterday we were off of work in obsevance of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Today we are off because we got slammed with a fabulous snow/ice storm that left the roads very ugly. Rather then drive myself crazy at home for the second day doing nothing, I did some research and learned a lot about losing weight, safely and healthy. I have read many blogs and articles and most of them recommend cutting out red meat. Oh vey! Red meat and I go way back. I am a huge meat eater, I would prefer red meat over all other meats and defintely over veggies. I will admit in the last year or so, I have cut back a little, but not nearly enough. Most of the success stories I read involved cutting it out completely or maybe having it once or twice a month. Boy that's gonna be hard, but I gotta do what I gotta do. I spent a good part of the past two days looking for yummy (simple) chicken and turkey recipes. Not a very easy task, I must say. I found a few, but not enough. Surprisingly, TJ has been great witht his whole change over. He is up for anything to help me. The man also eats anything, and I truly mean, he will try anything! (That's why I love him so much)I found a few very helpful sites that give advice for beginners and seem to sympathize with us. I also calculated my grocery bill. If I cut out red meat for the most part, my grocery bill will definitely go down. I spend most of my bill on meats, but turkey, chicken and pork are so much cheaper. I have also been following a blog, she is a sister of a friend I went to school with. She is amazing and I want to be so much like her. She makes her own bread, everything she does is homemade, and it all looks so delish! I hope to try some of her recipes soon.
I also looked into Weight Watchers. I have seen and heard so many success stories with them, and I know I would do well with it, but it of course costs money. Money is not something we have a lot of to spend. I think on Feb. 1 I might just suck it up and sign up. It will run me about $56 for three months, which is not too bad. I am just not sure if I will do online or go to meetings. I am afraid online I won't have as much push. But meetings make me crazy too, as if I don't have enough things to occupy my time. I have two weeks to decide, and I know whatever decision I make, TJ will guide me through it.
I want to dedicate this blog to help me lose weight, but I still want to use it to post about my life as well. Just a quick update on us! TJ and I have been married 6 years now, crazy I know. We will celebrate 13 years together in August, even crazier I know. I just said to him the other day "why are we the lucky ones? we are still madly in love and beyond happy". Emily will be 5 in about 45 days, oh my goodness, what happened to my baby girl. She will start kindergarten in the fall. I called to sign her up for registration and cried the whole time I was on the phone. I will miss her so much. Colin Michael.... Oh boy, oh boy! He will be 3 in May, he is all boy and he is so much like his daddy it's scary. He is talking so much and he is so funny. He has quite the personality. Me I am still me... driving bus, being wife, mom, sister, daughter, friend. The house is good, still not exactly what we want, but someday! We have big dreams! If we dream big, big things can happen!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Starting new...

I haven't blogged in a while, and I do truly miss it, but I am trying a new blog. I set a goal for this year. Not so much a resolutions, but a goal. I want to lose atleast 50lbs. by January 1, 2012. I am extremely overweight, unhealthy and losing my self-control. I am going to use my blog to document and help my journey. When I was in high school I was a size 6/8, needless to say I am no longer that size. I have always said "I have two kids and a husband that helped me get bigger" but in actuallity I am the only one who made me "big". I am uncomfortable with my size, I am starting to get pain in my hips and knees from the extra weight, I get winded very easily, I am always tired, I never have energy and I am just flat out disgusted with myself.
I have started exercising on an elliptical machine and I love it. It gives me a huge boost and I feel great after doing it. That is step one, now I have to figure out step two. I will post again when I get it all under control.