Thursday, July 30, 2009

I Hate Waiting.....

We if you read my facebook page, you know that we are trying to buy a house. This will be our first house, and had I know it would take this long and this much work, I probably would have found a rental. It is not all bad. We have the BEST realtor, and our finance guy is awsome, its just the bank. Banks don't want to give money to anyone right now, especially people like us who don't have the absolute best credit. We have good credit, just not the best. We have given them all our paperwork, all our stubs, our w2's, our EVERYTHING it feels like. They have had it for about a week now, and we still don't have an answer. We haven't even been able to put a bid on the house or a deposit to hold it. Out finance guy want to firm everything up before he puts his name on it. He doesn't want us to get excited and think everything is great until it is. I understand, I just want out of this apartment. It sucks. We love our landlord, we love our neighbors, but we need more space! We need a yard and the kids need their own rooms and we need our space. This apartment has been great to us, and we hate to leave, but we have to start somewhere. We found the house that we want, want want. It is a a smaller house, with a huge yard. It is 3 bdrm, but the master is on the first floor and the others on the second. I am a little nervous about that, but we will make it work. We need to get Em used to sleeping in her own bed anyway. She still climbs in our bed at night. It has two full baths, but the one only has a stall shower and the other only has a HUGE garden tub. So it works for us. We will shower and the kids will bathe, plus I can bathe, for that matter it is so big we could all bathe together and probably invite the neighbors for a swim. The house need some work, but that is exactly what we want, it is laid out a little different, but we can make changes as we go. The second floor is only on half of the house, so our goal is in a year or two, we would like to add a complete second floor and move the master upstairs and open up the down stairs. We both love the house and we are really praying and hoping we get it. I would love to get in the new house before I go back to work, but that has pretty much went out the window, oh well.... just as long as we get in. Keep praying for us and keep your fingers crossed. We need all the prayers we can get.

The kiddos..... oh boy. That is all that comes to mind right now. My baby boy is already one, no so much a baby anymore. He started walking right after his first birthday, and now he is crazy. He is all over, and almost keeping up with her. She is 3 1/2 and I can't beleive my eyes. She is gorgeous, she has the perfect complexion, the perfect "crazy" hair. She is sooooo sassy, but honestly, she is all ME! I hate to say it, but I created her and she takes after me, smart mouth, attitude, sass, humor everything. My kids are growing up right before my eyes and I can't stop them. It almost makes me want one more, but we just aren't sure yet. I love having little ones, but I am just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Em is completely out of diapers, except bed, and Colin is only getting two bottles a day, of milk not formula. Before I know it, he will be potty training and then that's it. I don't know if I am ready to pull the bottles and formula out again, and if I want to start buying more diapers again. I am starting the feel a little bit of freedom from them. They are so independant. They both feed themselves, so I finally get a hot dinner with my family. They both pretty much can tell me when something is wrong. They play so well on their own, I am not constantly trying to entertain them. We'll see, maybe in a year or two we'll make a final decision.

Yesterday we had a great play date with my cousin and her kiddos. That was so nice. We don't ever get to catch up, so it was a nice mommy day too. The kids played pretty good together. I think if we saw each other more often, the kids would have been great. Today we have a play date with Lindsay and the kids. I love going there. Grace and Em play so well together and Evan is really good with Colin. I enjoy seeing Lindsay, she is always very supportive and helpful. I always get such great ideas from her. I think this weekend we are going to head to the craft store to buy some of the things Lindsay recommends. Emily loves going there because there is always something fun to do. I can also talk to her about Matt's job.

TJ is hunting for a new job. SWI sucks, or should I say the new owners suck. Since TJ's boss died in March, it has taken a rapid spiral downward. The boys are greedy and only think for themselves. Anywho.... TJ talked to Matt, and I think when his company hires again, TJ is going to apply. We need a change. It will be a challenge, and it will take a lot to get used to, but we need to do what's best for our family. The money would be so much better, and the schedule might actually help the kids being on the bus. We hope we hear something soon. Keep your fingers crossed.

I better wrap this up, the kids are looking for lunch now, since they were up eating breakfast at 6am (not my choice). I will try to keep up on this, I know I am not very good at it, but I will try.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I keep trying!

I have not been really good with posting, but I am trying. It is really hard to find time to sit down and type without someone needing something or wanting something or crying or whining......etc. Summer break is already boring. I am ready to go back to work. Everyone else in the world is working, so it is pretty lonely through the day, and by the time TJ gets home he just wants to relax.

I took our cat today to get fixed. He should be home this afternoon, but Emily was hysterical when we left him. She is afraid he won't come back. Later this morning we are going to head up to Target and the Outlets. I desparately need a swim suit. As much as I don't want to buy one, I need it for the pool. I am hoping to find something simple and cheap at Target. I am also thinking about buying a new stroller from Target. We saw it a couple weeks ago and we loved it. We are walking alot, and have a few day trips planned, so we really need a good comfy stroller for Colin. Em won't ride in a stroller, she is a big girl, as she says. We'll see if the have it and maybe it will be on sale.

We are counting down the days to go back to the mountains. We love it up there, and we are going up for July 4th. We leave on Thurs and come home on Sunday. I can't wait. I just love the peace and tranquility. At night, it is almost as if you can touch the stars. I could just sit there and wish on every star. The kids love it for the four wheelers, so do the guys, but I love the care-free way of living.

So we are trying to buy a house, UGH..... what a joke. With the economy now-a-days, mortgage companies want you to be completely debt free and have a ton of money down. We are just about completely debt free, but we don't have a whole lot of cash to put down. We finally got our pre-approval letter and everything was great, well that changed fast. The broker we used assumed we were selling TJ's motorcycle, which we mentioned we could if we had to. He just assumed we sold it, and the pre-approval is contingent on us selling the bike. TJ wants to sell it anyway, but now we are in a crunch. We had a couple lined up, everything was set, and they backed out at the last minute. I am starting to completely lose hope in buying a house. Now we are listing his bike on Craigs list to see if we can sell it there. Keep your fingers crossed and pray for us. We really need to get out of our apartment, the kids need more space.

Better go for now, hope to blog more soon!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Schools out for the summer!

I can't beleive another school year has passed, and I don't even have children in school yet. Driving bus is going great, although I am ready to be off for 9 weeks. Last summer was a challenge for us, with Colin being born, and not having a whole lot of money. This summer should be excellent. We spent the whole year getting our finances in order, and Colin is already a year old. Today is my first day of summer break, and I already feel like I am going to be bored. Today we have to run to the vet for food for Spike, and then Colin has a 1pm doc appt. That should be fun, he is getting shots today. We have been pushing this appt off, he keeps running a fever when he is supposed to get shots, but not today.
I have not posted in so long, and honestly too much has happened to talk about, so I will only pick the important things. Colin turned one on May 26th, and Emily turned 3 on March 2. I can't beleive it. They are so big already. Where have my babies gone? I miss the little itty bitty babies I brought home from the hospital. Honestly, they are so much fun now, a handful, but fun. Colin is walking and talking (pretend), he has 5 teeth, and he is so much like his sister. Emily is, wow, she is just Emily. She is unique, fun, feisty, smart, sassy. I could go on forever. She is all me, but looks like TJ. She is so smart, I can't wait to get her into school. We have decided not to send her to pre-school, we will just work extra hard with her, then kindergarten. We'll see, maybe we will send her to little camps and things.
I gotta go for now, but I will update again tonight or tomorrow!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Just Another Manic Monday!

Another weekend, come and gone. The weekends just seem to keep getting shorter and shorter. I am going to try to post a blog as much as possible, hopefully three or four times a week, like I used to.
This weekend was fun. On Friday night we went to see my grandmother in the nursing home. She is staying there for rehab. My sister and I all went. I left the kids at home with TJ, I just wanted some quiet, one-on-one time with her. I think I was expecting the worst, but it really wasn't too bad. She didn't look sick, of course, she is sick on the inside. She was in good spirits, and we laughed and carried on until 9:30 at night. It was a lot of fun.

On Saturday, we laid around the house all morning, then we went out to dinner. My mother-in-law babysat for us, Yikes, I know! We went out with my family for my brothers 30th birthday. We went to Hibachi in Downingtown. OMG, that was so great. Not only was the food excellent, the cook was hilarious, and the show was unbeleivable. It was so much fun, and we really enjoyed the meal. We went out for two drinks afterwards, then headed home to releive his mom. It went well. I was super nervous to leave my kids with her, (anyone who knows me would understand why) but it went well, and the kids were both sound asleep in bed. She said she didn't have any problems, except she struggled to keep up with Emily. She said she was so wired most of the night. I just laughed. Maybe this is a step in the right direction.

Today, we went back to the nursing home to see my grandmother, with the kids and TJ. My sisters went, and the boys too. We had a good time again, and the kids were really good. The one nurse there brings her dog to work, for the residents. Her name was Rosy, a Boston Terrier. The kids loved her and played with her for awhile. Before we left, my grandmother didn't seem good. She all of the sudden got really tired, really cold, and lost some color. She laid down as we were leaving, as the nurse took her sugar level and temperature. We left right after, the results were all fine, not great, just fine. We left so she could nap and get some rest and relaxation. I am so worried about her. I know what I said in my last blog, but I really am not ready to let her go. I love her so much, and I am worried that it may happen sooner then later. I hope we can see her a few more times before she starts her new journey. I just hope she knows how much we all love her.

This week is going to be crazy. Monday is jam packed. We both have to work, then TJ has to have the dog at the new vet by 4, then I have to have Colin at his 8month check at 7. In between we have to cook and eat dinner, get both kids bathed and in jammies, and somehow find time for regular day-to-day chores. It will be busy, and on top of that, I really need to find time to get to the grocery store. Manic Monday!

That's all for now, again, I hope to update again soon!
Pray for my mom-mom, and have a great week!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Moan, Groan, Cry and Whine! That's what I am doing!

Where to start.... everything just seems to go wrong, at the wrong time. It is very frustrating when you think you see the light at the end of the tunnel, BAM, it's gone! Let's explain.

I guess it was about two weeks ago, my aunt visited my grandmother, and found so many problem. They took her to the family doctor, who in turn, admitted her to the hospital. I think in the beginning it was for an open sore on her leg, she is diabetic, so it would never heal. Also, she was showing signs of congestive heart failure. After being admitted, they told us we could not go see her, she was being tested for Mersa (sp?) and it was dangerous for us to be around her, especially with the kids. Now, one week after being admitted, they are discharging her, which is unbeleivable. The original doc who admitted her said she could no longer live on her own, and while she was in the hospital the kids should figure out a plan for that. My mom is one of 7 children, she being the oldest. she has 4 brothers and 2 sisters. Well, I guess what it all boils down to, my grandmother, at some point, suffered from a heart attack, which severely damaged her heart. It can not be fixed with surgery, just controlled by medicine. In my eyes, that means at this point, it is just a waiting game now, her heart will eventually fail. She is also suffering from kidney failure, originally thought to be from her meds, but I think they ruled that out. So she is just suffering from kidney failure. On top of that, she still has a sever infection in her leg from her sore, and has an atery blocked in her knee. So now, she is short of breath, I am sure in pain, can't walk, and certainly can't take care of herself. Today I get a call saying she is being discharged from the hospital to a rehab center, Freedom Village. My aunt works there, so I guess that is a plus, but I don't understand what they are rehabing. Her heart cannot be repaired, her kidneys have already started a irreversible process, and I think she is in the beginning stages of dimentia. Apparently my aunt, her youngest daughter is setting her up with a superb doc at the rehab, in hopes that she can continue to live on her own. WHAT!?!?! Ugh.... that is ridiculous. The only reason they are rehabing her is to send her home alone, to die, or worse live alone, in pain, with noone who cares. I am beyond angry. The only reason they want her to go home is so none of her kids have to become adults and take care of their mother. How cruel. If I had a house, she would come stay with me, I would take care of her. I am so angry, I wish I could express it in my writing, but I can't. I had to quickly get of the phone today with my mother, I seriously thought I was going to start a cursing fit with her on the phone. If one of my siblings would try to act this way, my mom would have a fit. She throws a tantrum if she doesn't see her grandkids at least once a week, and doesn't talk to us the same. Why does she feel this way about her mother. I don't get it. I guess I never will. I think, they should have just let my grandmother at home. She wants to be with my grandfather. She has wanted to die to be with him for a long time, but her kids keep prolonging it. If they would just back off and let her do what she wants, she could be happy with the love of her life. I know I sound crazy, but it is true. My pop pop died in 99, and she has been lonely and depressed since. Everytime she comes close to dying her kids rush in to save her in any way possible. It angers me because they don't care to call her even once a month, the don't visit her ever, and they don't seem to be bothered when she expresses her feelings... why care when she is sick? Just let her go.

We took our dog to the vet a few weeks ago, he had blood in his urine. We were given an antibiotic to stop the bleeding. It didn't work, so we had to take him in for an x-ray, which we did yesterday. That was horrible. He has a serious problem, and we don't know what to do. He has Bladder Stones, several small ones. The problem with them, they are small enough to track through is urethra (sp?), and block his ability to urinate, in turn will kill him from his own urine. The only cure is surgery. Crazy.... he is 7lbs 9oz, Yorkie, and this surgery could cost me $1700. I don't have that kind of money, and if I did, I just don't think it would go to a dog surgery. TJ & I talked about it last night, and he is persistant that we have the surgery. I understand he is our dog, and that he was our first "child", but $1700 is A LOT of money, and we are already strapped, and wanting to buy a house this year. I agreed with him last night, but now I am having second thoughts. We are going to take him to another vet for a second opinion, hopefully a cheaper one. My cousin works at this vet, so I trust this place. We'll see. I just don't know what to do, we really need to make this decision as soon as possible, before the blockage happens.

Onto a lighter note, the kids are doing great. We have had a few rough weeks, but good overall. Colin is teething, but those little buggers just won't cut through. I can feel at least two, maybe three right at the surface, and have been feeling them for at least two weeks now. I have given him everything possible to help them cut, with no luck. I don't know what else to do, if you have any suggestions I will take them. We have tried a frozen metal spoon, teeting rings, toys, tooth brush, fingers, everything. He has completely stopped eating solid foods. He only eats formula, which hurts the wallet a little, we are going through two canisters a week. He is eating 8oz every 4 hours, with a 8 hour exception over night. I have even started to add a little cereal to each bottle to thicken it up and hold him over longer, again with no luck. He is seriously eating me out of house and home. I hope this is just a phase and we start spoon feeding again. He has been having a hard time sleeping at night as well. TJ and I both get up at 4:30am everyday to go to work, and to be up all night with him is making that really difficult. Last night I was up with him about every 40 minutes from 9-1, then TJ was up with him the same from 1-4:30. TJ was dressed and ready for work by 4:38am. My poor hubby. I was up with him to, but I did get to go back for one more hour of sleep, which puts me on another subject to discuss later. Emily is doing great. We are just about potty trained, except on the bus. It is really hard to use the potty on the bus, when we are non-stop driving for 2 hours at a time. She will be complete potty-trained by June, when we are off the bus. It will be easier, then she will have 3 months to prepare for the bus again. She will be 3 in less then a month. I am so sad, but so proud. My baby is growing up way to fast. I feel like I missed most of it, like I blinked and she is 3. She is so excited for her party, only problem is, we weren't planning a big party, just family. Maybe we will invite a few friends, we'll see.

Today we are off from school. It really sucks. They called school out, due to weather, but I think the roads look clear. We should have went on a two-hour delay, but for some reason West Chester didn't agree. Remember, I don't get paid to be off, which makes finances hard, when we have had 3 snow days in two weeks. Then next week we are off Friday and Monday for President's Day. It will all work out in the end.

This weekend should be fun. We are going out on Saturday for a little while. His mom is babysitting for the first time ever, which makes me really nervous. I figured, maybe if I make an effort to make her a part of our lives, she will involve herself more. She never comes around, and I hate that. Emily always says she misses her grammy, and I don't ever know what to say. His mother has always had a problem, even before we were married. I guess she doesn't want to share her son, so she just abandons the thought, and doesn't come around. I want my kids to know all their grandparents, including TJ mom and dad. We have been keeping in contact with his real dad, which is different. It's nice, and I always have a good time with him and his soon-to-be wife, it's just not a normal for us. We have seen them 3 times since Christmas. They actually bought the kids a boat load of presents for Christmas. Emily got a bike, and she rides it all the time. She calls them mom-mom and pop-pop Ted. It is so cute. His dad has always been so sweet to me, and has always went out of his way to make me comfortable, unlike his mother. His dad and Deb are getting married in May, and I am excited for that. They just bought a house, which is super nice, and the seem to be doing great. Speaking of, I really need to have TJ invite them to dinner soon, it's our turn to have them over. I will talk to TJ tonight.

We have been trying to get together with out friends Matt & Lindsay. It has been a battle. I had to cancel once, then she had to cancel, now our free weekends don't match up. It's looking like March is going to be the soonest, maybe sooner, if I can switch some stuff around. I apparently made a comment on my Facebook account, and some other poeple didn't like it. I just said that Lindsay was my one best friend, and another "friend" was offended, which is crazy, because she is the one who distanced herself, and said we were at different points in our lives. I don't get it. This is why I keep my "girl" friends limited, DRAMA! It's crazy...... whatever. Lindsay is the only person who seems to care when I am down, and who listens and actually understands. Not many people can understand me, but she does.

Anywho.... I guess I better wrap this up. I think this is the longest ever, but I had a lot to say. It has been so long, and sometimes I really need to vent.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Seriously.... is it really Mid-January!

I can't beleive how fast time really goes. It is so crazy. It almost seems like I blink, and, BAM... it is 2009 already. This year started out slow, but quickly became a blur. Now we are starting birthday season in our family. Let's see if I can get them all... Melissa 1/4, TJ 1/5, TJ Mom 1/15, TJ dad 1/23, Jake 1/30, Michael 2/2, Jeffrey 2/17, My baby girl 3/2, Mom 3/11, Kelly 3/14, Darian 3/??, Judy 4/5, Jenn 5/20, My handsome little man 5/26, Jeff 6/23. See I told ya, birthday season, me, Bella, my dad and Josh are the only winter babies in our family! I can't beleive that my girl is going to be 3....... so sad. I hate to see you grow up in this world. I just want to keep her tucked under me for a while. I have to say, for 3, she is extremely smart, and beautiful, funny, sassy..... I could go on forever. My Colie will be 1. Where did the last year go. He is already 8 months, pushing 21 pounds. He is so handsome, he melts my heart. I can't wait for this year, the kids are already so much fun, and I am sure it will only get better.

Colin has been really sick lately. It has kinda dragged on for a few weeks, and now it is just horrible. I feel so bad for him. He has had this cough for a few months, it comes and goes. Well this time it has stayed and progressively gotten worse. He is cough so bad, and not sleeping, and running really high fevers. He has been to the doctor twice in a matter of 13 days. He is on his second antibiotic for double ear infections. He is on Albuterol, for his lungs and coughing. He is on a tylonel regimen for the high fevers and any pain he might be in. I feel like I am doping my poor son up, but it is the only thing that works. He is totally not sleeping at night, and TJ and I are beyond exhausted. Of course, we signed up for this job, but noone ever said it was easy. This weekend is strictly a pajama and slipper weekend, nothing but vegging and being lazy. We are going to sleep when we want and play when we want. We are not leaving our home all weekend, especially with these negative degree windchills. I had to drive bus in this crap, and let me tell you, noone knows how cold it is until they experience this weather at 5am on a cold bus. PURE HELL, only cold, LOL! TJ took off work today to keep the kids off the bus in this cold, especially with Col being sick. He is such a great husband, but I will keep all that for another blog entry.

Gotta go, motherhood is calling. Will post later, ha ha, hopefully!