Where to start.... everything just seems to go wrong, at the wrong time. It is very frustrating when you think you see the light at the end of the tunnel, BAM, it's gone! Let's explain.
I guess it was about two weeks ago, my aunt visited my grandmother, and found so many problem. They took her to the family doctor, who in turn, admitted her to the hospital. I think in the beginning it was for an open sore on her leg, she is diabetic, so it would never heal. Also, she was showing signs of congestive heart failure. After being admitted, they told us we could not go see her, she was being tested for Mersa (sp?) and it was dangerous for us to be around her, especially with the kids. Now, one week after being admitted, they are discharging her, which is unbeleivable. The original doc who admitted her said she could no longer live on her own, and while she was in the hospital the kids should figure out a plan for that. My mom is one of 7 children, she being the oldest. she has 4 brothers and 2 sisters. Well, I guess what it all boils down to, my grandmother, at some point, suffered from a heart attack, which severely damaged her heart. It can not be fixed with surgery, just controlled by medicine. In my eyes, that means at this point, it is just a waiting game now, her heart will eventually fail. She is also suffering from kidney failure, originally thought to be from her meds, but I think they ruled that out. So she is just suffering from kidney failure. On top of that, she still has a sever infection in her leg from her sore, and has an atery blocked in her knee. So now, she is short of breath, I am sure in pain, can't walk, and certainly can't take care of herself. Today I get a call saying she is being discharged from the hospital to a rehab center, Freedom Village. My aunt works there, so I guess that is a plus, but I don't understand what they are rehabing. Her heart cannot be repaired, her kidneys have already started a irreversible process, and I think she is in the beginning stages of dimentia. Apparently my aunt, her youngest daughter is setting her up with a superb doc at the rehab, in hopes that she can continue to live on her own. WHAT!?!?! Ugh.... that is ridiculous. The only reason they are rehabing her is to send her home alone, to die, or worse live alone, in pain, with noone who cares. I am beyond angry. The only reason they want her to go home is so none of her kids have to become adults and take care of their mother. How cruel. If I had a house, she would come stay with me, I would take care of her. I am so angry, I wish I could express it in my writing, but I can't. I had to quickly get of the phone today with my mother, I seriously thought I was going to start a cursing fit with her on the phone. If one of my siblings would try to act this way, my mom would have a fit. She throws a tantrum if she doesn't see her grandkids at least once a week, and doesn't talk to us the same. Why does she feel this way about her mother. I don't get it. I guess I never will. I think, they should have just let my grandmother at home. She wants to be with my grandfather. She has wanted to die to be with him for a long time, but her kids keep prolonging it. If they would just back off and let her do what she wants, she could be happy with the love of her life. I know I sound crazy, but it is true. My pop pop died in 99, and she has been lonely and depressed since. Everytime she comes close to dying her kids rush in to save her in any way possible. It angers me because they don't care to call her even once a month, the don't visit her ever, and they don't seem to be bothered when she expresses her feelings... why care when she is sick? Just let her go.
We took our dog to the vet a few weeks ago, he had blood in his urine. We were given an antibiotic to stop the bleeding. It didn't work, so we had to take him in for an x-ray, which we did yesterday. That was horrible. He has a serious problem, and we don't know what to do. He has Bladder Stones, several small ones. The problem with them, they are small enough to track through is urethra (sp?), and block his ability to urinate, in turn will kill him from his own urine. The only cure is surgery. Crazy.... he is 7lbs 9oz, Yorkie, and this surgery could cost me $1700. I don't have that kind of money, and if I did, I just don't think it would go to a dog surgery. TJ & I talked about it last night, and he is persistant that we have the surgery. I understand he is our dog, and that he was our first "child", but $1700 is A LOT of money, and we are already strapped, and wanting to buy a house this year. I agreed with him last night, but now I am having second thoughts. We are going to take him to another vet for a second opinion, hopefully a cheaper one. My cousin works at this vet, so I trust this place. We'll see. I just don't know what to do, we really need to make this decision as soon as possible, before the blockage happens.
Onto a lighter note, the kids are doing great. We have had a few rough weeks, but good overall. Colin is teething, but those little buggers just won't cut through. I can feel at least two, maybe three right at the surface, and have been feeling them for at least two weeks now. I have given him everything possible to help them cut, with no luck. I don't know what else to do, if you have any suggestions I will take them. We have tried a frozen metal spoon, teeting rings, toys, tooth brush, fingers, everything. He has completely stopped eating solid foods. He only eats formula, which hurts the wallet a little, we are going through two canisters a week. He is eating 8oz every 4 hours, with a 8 hour exception over night. I have even started to add a little cereal to each bottle to thicken it up and hold him over longer, again with no luck. He is seriously eating me out of house and home. I hope this is just a phase and we start spoon feeding again. He has been having a hard time sleeping at night as well. TJ and I both get up at 4:30am everyday to go to work, and to be up all night with him is making that really difficult. Last night I was up with him about every 40 minutes from 9-1, then TJ was up with him the same from 1-4:30. TJ was dressed and ready for work by 4:38am. My poor hubby. I was up with him to, but I did get to go back for one more hour of sleep, which puts me on another subject to discuss later. Emily is doing great. We are just about potty trained, except on the bus. It is really hard to use the potty on the bus, when we are non-stop driving for 2 hours at a time. She will be complete potty-trained by June, when we are off the bus. It will be easier, then she will have 3 months to prepare for the bus again. She will be 3 in less then a month. I am so sad, but so proud. My baby is growing up way to fast. I feel like I missed most of it, like I blinked and she is 3. She is so excited for her party, only problem is, we weren't planning a big party, just family. Maybe we will invite a few friends, we'll see.
Today we are off from school. It really sucks. They called school out, due to weather, but I think the roads look clear. We should have went on a two-hour delay, but for some reason West Chester didn't agree. Remember, I don't get paid to be off, which makes finances hard, when we have had 3 snow days in two weeks. Then next week we are off Friday and Monday for President's Day. It will all work out in the end.
This weekend should be fun. We are going out on Saturday for a little while. His mom is babysitting for the first time ever, which makes me really nervous. I figured, maybe if I make an effort to make her a part of our lives, she will involve herself more. She never comes around, and I hate that. Emily always says she misses her grammy, and I don't ever know what to say. His mother has always had a problem, even before we were married. I guess she doesn't want to share her son, so she just abandons the thought, and doesn't come around. I want my kids to know all their grandparents, including TJ mom and dad. We have been keeping in contact with his real dad, which is different. It's nice, and I always have a good time with him and his soon-to-be wife, it's just not a normal for us. We have seen them 3 times since Christmas. They actually bought the kids a boat load of presents for Christmas. Emily got a bike, and she rides it all the time. She calls them mom-mom and pop-pop Ted. It is so cute. His dad has always been so sweet to me, and has always went out of his way to make me comfortable, unlike his mother. His dad and Deb are getting married in May, and I am excited for that. They just bought a house, which is super nice, and the seem to be doing great. Speaking of, I really need to have TJ invite them to dinner soon, it's our turn to have them over. I will talk to TJ tonight.
We have been trying to get together with out friends Matt & Lindsay. It has been a battle. I had to cancel once, then she had to cancel, now our free weekends don't match up. It's looking like March is going to be the soonest, maybe sooner, if I can switch some stuff around. I apparently made a comment on my Facebook account, and some other poeple didn't like it. I just said that Lindsay was my one best friend, and another "friend" was offended, which is crazy, because she is the one who distanced herself, and said we were at different points in our lives. I don't get it. This is why I keep my "girl" friends limited, DRAMA! It's crazy...... whatever. Lindsay is the only person who seems to care when I am down, and who listens and actually understands. Not many people can understand me, but she does.
Anywho.... I guess I better wrap this up. I think this is the longest ever, but I had a lot to say. It has been so long, and sometimes I really need to vent.
No comments:
Post a Comment