I just can't keep up

I know it's been so long since my last post. I try so hard to keep up with this, but I just can't. There has been so much going on in the last few months, and I know I am not going to be able to hit everything, but I am going to give it a try. I will also try to keep up with my blogging. It really does make me feel better, almost as if I am venting to a good friend, but instead I am typing for anyone to read or comment. Ok well here goes......

In March, Trey Allen Toaltoan, my brother-in-law was killed. He was TJ's younger brother from his dad. He was a sweet, caring, passionate young man, whose life was taken way too early. he turned 22 on January 6, and has so many plans for his future. To make a long story short, he was in Coatesville and was shot as part of a gang retaliation against his cousin, with whom he was staying with for a few days. He was shot from behind, the bullet went through his thorax, which as we understand was instant. He is missed so much by so many people, especially his dad. They don't have anyone in custody yet, but they seem to know who did it. I keep praying they find the shooter and get him off the streets. Trey you are so loved and missed by every person who had the pleasure to know you. May god keep you in his arms until we meet again!

TJ and his dad have become much closer since the whole thing with his brother, and I must say it is kinda nice finally having in-laws. TJ's mom is NOT part of our life, she hasn't seen or spoke to my kids in over 6 months, so that to me means she doesn't deserve a chance. His dad and step-mom love our kids and us with no end. They support us no matter what and are always there to help when we need it. We love then as well, which makes it so easy to spend time with them.

My baby boy...... he is turning 2 tomorrow. I can't beleive two years ago I was ginormous, ready to pop. I can't beleive my baby is 2 already, I can't beleive what a handsome little stinker he is. He has a face that could light up any room. He make so many different expressions, I have a hard time disciplining him because he makes me smile. It make me sad as well. He is growning up way too fast. I miss my little snuggle boy, now he won't even lay with me to snuggle. He is now weighing in at 30lbs and he is definitely all boy!

My Emily...........Oh she is 4 going on 17. Somehow overnight she has turned into this mature young lady, who knows everything and won't take no for an answer. I beleive she has left those terrible twos behind and beginning the next stage. She is becoming far more of a help, she listens way better, she understands more and wants to learn everything. She starts preschool in fall. She is soooo excited, not me. I am not ready to let her go. She is so beautiful and she knows it. She has the complexion and body women would die for. She has gorgeous hair and these deep dark eyes that just make you melt. I can't beleive next summer we will be preparing for kindergarten, I am definitely not ready for that. It scares me to not have her with me all the time. It will be a hard adjustment for all of us.

TJ has been looking for a new job forever now. He is just done with his current job, it's crazy how things can change in a company so fast. It's like the owners don't care about the employees anymore. They don't want to pay them or take care of them, nor do they appreciate them. He went for a tour of UPS in Lancaster, but that is only part-time and not enough pay. He just went for an interview for another job in Sadsburyville. The interview went well and he is supposed to go back this evening for a second interview and a tour. Please, please, please pray that he gets this job. It will be hard for us because it is night shift, but we are willing to make that sacrifice for his sanity and dignity. I am keeping my fingers crossed, hopefully the next time I blog I will have good news to spread.

This weekend is a big weekend for us. We are having a HUGE, did I say GIGANTIC picnic. We are celebrating our Housewarming and Colin's 2nd Birthday all at one shot. So far I have 65 people definitelly coming, and another 20 maybes. It's going to be great. We got a moonbounce for the kids, a pool/slide thingy, beer, food, food and more food. We have done so much work to the house, I can't wait to show it off. All our closest friends and family are going to be here to help us celebrate and it's going to be a blast. I will blog about it afterwards. The weather is supposed to be 75*, sunny and gorgeous. I am so excited, I feel like a little kid again!

This school year is almost over, only 17 more days left. I am really excited about that. This school year has been especially hard for some reason. My kids are the same and they are all great. I am sad because one of my high-schooler, actually my favorite is graduating this year and I will miss him. He is such a great kid and he is so sweet to Emily. We will both miss him. Looking forward to my 9 week vacation. I need it and so do my kid.

I have more to say, but my time limit is up. I made sure I had 30 minutes to catch up, but I lost some of that due to potty breaks for me and Emily and cartoon crisis.
I will definitely try to keep up a bit better now, and with summer coming I should be able to.

Where to start......

Things are beyond normal right now. We have been pulled in so many directions I lost count a long time ago. I can't keep my head straight nor my body going! There is far more going on then I am going to blog, or I would be here for 10 days typing. I will only hit the important things.

My baby girl turned "4" last week. I can't beleive how fast it really does go by. I can remember so vividly her birth and infancy. I miss my baby girl. She is so grown now, does everything for herself and doesn't want mommy to help anymore. This birthday was especially hard for me because I know there is only one more birthday until school, and I am so not ready for that. As much as she drives me crazy, I love her so much. We threw her this awesome birthday party at the house (which was our first party at our new house). It was a great time and I am so glad we did it. She enjoyed every minute of it and that is all that matters. We did this whole floral, spring theme, with lots of bright colors and balloons. I was so happy with the turn-out. I still can't beleive she is 4!

We recently got some not so good news about my aunt. She is really my aunt, but she is more like a sister to us. She is closer to our age and she has always been close with us. She just announced that they found cancer in her thyroid, which is a good place to have cancer. She saw the oncologist on Monday, and today (Wednesday) she underwent surgery to remove her thyroid and possibly her lymphnodes (sp?), luckily is was only her thyroid. She should not need any radiation, which is good, and they were able to remove all the cancer. We could not have hoped for a better turn out. She is in the hospital over night, then she will stay with my sister until she feels well enough to go home. It is so scary to think about it, but it could have been so much worse, but thankfully it was not.

There is something I have to get off my chest because I never have before, or atleast not to people other then family. My mother-in-law SUCKS! I can honestly say, I have completely written her out of our lives. I hate to say it, but she has no concern with us, so why should we care about her. Years ago she made TJ choose, her or his real dad Ted. Well of course he chose her and shut his dad out of our lives. That was the worst decision he could have ever made. I feel horrible to even think that a mother would ever do that to her child, but she did. I have bottled this up for so long, and I just can't do it anymore. TJ's dad loves TJ and I and our kids so much he would give his life for us. He is such a loving man and caring and proud. I am so sorry he missed the first part of Emily's life, but I am beyond happy that he is here now. Two years ago TJ realized his decision was wrong and that his dad did not deserve that. Now we could not be closer with his dad. Ted married Deb last year, in May. She is such a great person, she loves us just as much as Ted and she has helped Ted so much. They are so good to us, and I am so thankful that we have them. It is so nice to finally say I have in-laws who love me and care about me, not just TJ. I know that sounds selfish, but TJ's mom only loves TJ and doesn't acknowledge me unless she is forced to. Whatever..... anyway, I love Ted and Deb, and I am so happy they are in our lives. I won't even write all the things his mother has done to us to hurt us, but there is enough to write a novel. I will say, we moved into our new home on October 16 and she has never seen it. She does laundry twice a week at the laundry-mat, which is less then a block away, and has never stopped or call to see if she could stop. That's all I have to say about that!

Since things have been so crazy, I have completely lost touch with the outside world. I feel like the people I need most, I have completely shut out. My best friend and I usually always go back and forth on Facebook, but lately, I have been a real slacker in checking in on her and her family. I feel like a horrible friend. I just don't want to bog her down with my problems. I hope we can get back to normal soon, I will make time.

We missed church on Sunday, and now I am really feeling it. I know it sounds silly, but I think I use what Pastor Sam says through the week and try to make sense of things, but without it this week I feel lost. I have been doing so good lately with my down moods and my patience, now this week, I have been in a crabby mood and I have absolutely no patience for anything. I will survive, I just can't wait until Sunday so I can try to get back into the swing of things. I have been hearing alot about people setting aside time each day to do devotions, and I think I may want to learn a little more about that. Maybe if I took time everyday, I could better myself each day rather then just certain days. Maybe I would feel better about myself which in turn will make it easier to deal with the real world. I will have to look into that. I don't know much about Christianity, but I really want to learn more.

I have been really having the baby blues.... OMG... I just said it out loud to someone other then my husband. He just laughs at me and says some snide remark about a five year plan. There are so many people around me pregnant, and I almost feel jealous. I long for one more baby, one more pregnancy, one more chance, one more life! I know I sound crazy, but I do. The more and more I think about it, the more I want it, but TJ is just not ready. I would never rush him into it, three is a hanful or so I hear. He says we will talk about it seriously this summer and see what happens. I hope he comes around, if not I will count my blessing with my two beautiful children and call it that!

I better get going, it's bedtime here and I can't wait to hit the pillow! I will realy try to keep posting more regularly, but I just can't find time!

Feels like Monday!

It's Tuesday, after the two monster snow storms and one small snow fall. My house is still buried, we can barely see out of our windows and our back door. It's crazy. In my 28 years I have never seen so much snow at once. The kids love it, but it's no fun. The snow is too high to play and too hard to enjoy. We have been "trapped" inside since last Tuesday night. We are driving each other crazy. We finally went back to work this morning, but it was a rough morning. The roads were still slick and then it started to snow again! We made it, only to get home in time to realize I locked myself out of the house and had to call Tj out of work to unlock the door. What a morning, but thankfully we survived it.

So it's mid-february already, Emily turns 4 in about 2 weeks and I am so far from ready for her birthday. We have been a little tight on money, and she keeps asking for a party. Of course we will celebrate and have people over, but I am afraid we aren't going to be able to do a big party like she thinks. She will be ok, as long as everyone comes to our house and I decorate with some streamers and balloons she will be happy. I still can't beleive she will be 4 already. I can remember being pregnant with her like it was just yesterday. She is such a beautiful little woman, she is so smart and sassy. I love you lots and I can only hope she knows how much her momma loves her.

I have so much to write, but again, I don't have the time, nor the energy. I have not gotten a full night of sleep in weeks. For some reason neither of my kids want to sleep through the night. YAY me, it's horrible! I am going to go now, try to catch a 15 minute power nap. I will try to get on again tonight!

Snow Snow and more Snow!

It snowed on Saturday, most of you reading this already know that, but I have to talk about it. It's crazy, there is so much snow on the ground, and tonight we are expecting much more, about 12-18 inches more! OMG.... where are they going to put all the snow. There is already nowhere to put the first storm, now a second is headed this way. Most of the roads in Christiana are still snow covered, most of the borough of West Chester is still snow covered. It should be fun, and we are totally looking forward to atleast one day off from work.

We have started some very small home renovations, just tiny so far. We painted our upstairs (very small) bathroom. It was a buttery yellow color, we covered it with semi-gloss white. We bought the special mildew-resistant paint. The floor was already black/white checked,so we just went with that, painted the walls white and accented with black. It looks really good, and it really brightens the already teeny tiny room. It looks good, now all we have to do it buy black rugs and a white shower curtain. We also got a new inside door for the back of the house. Our old door was so old, it was cracked in the middle, so you could see daylight through it, which means cold air came through it. The guy was here this morning to install it, and I love it. We got a door with a window, which again, lets in so much light and the door is white rather then the dark red the old one was. It seals on all ends and no air is coming it. I am looking forward to "maybe" having a lower electric bill. Next we really want to redo the kitchen, new cabinets, raising the ceiling, and new floor. TJ had a guy at his work draw a sketch from the existing measurements and it looks so nice. We can do most of the work ourselves, which will save us money. We can also buy the cabinets from his work, which will save us more money. We are hoping to finish by summer! We are also going to redo the full bath downstairs. There is a huge spa tub in there, but I HATE IT! I want a normal bath tub with a normal shower. The color is again, buttery yellow, accented with a green/white/black floor and black surround for the tub. I HATE IT! We have to redo the bath, floor, walls and ceiling. We again are hoping to do most of ourselves to save money, and my brother-in-law can install the bath/shower. I can't wait to start. I would love to have everything done by the end of May, so it's done for the housewarming party. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I have beeen in a funk lately, that's the reason I haven't posted in a while. The past month has been a rough month, and I don't know why. I just can't shake this funk. Maybe if we had more money I would be better, but it's just not how it works. TJ job sucks, he hasn't had a raise in 3 years, his boss is an asshole and he is unhappy there. Unfortunately, there aren't many jobs out there right now. We are just putting applications in and sending resumes to anywhere that seems ok. Something will come along eventually. Onto my funk, I just don't want to get out of bed, work, function, clean, cook..... anything. I want to sleep and lounge all day. It sounds silly, but it is really becoming a problem. I am just not normal, and I want to be. I am doing everything in my power to work it out, but it has been a slow process. I am having a hard time maintaining my control of the kids, and keeping my cool when things aren't going as planned. I find myself hollering more at the kids, which I don't want to do. I find I am losing my patience in situations that normally wouldn't bother me. I am just not normal right now and I need to find my normalcy soon!

Time to go back to work, hope the snow holds off until we get home safe and sound! I will post again during snow storm #2. Hope everyone keeps warm and stays safe.

Four for Four!

Well, as much as I try to avoid it, we all got sick at the same time. It was a mess. It started on Sunday, TJ and Colin both were snotty and had a little cough. Monday morning, TJ was horrible and poor Colin couldn't breath. TJ left work early on Monday and kept the kids home with him. They just layed on the sofa and ate crackers and soup all day. Tuesday was a little better. Colin was seeming better, but come Wednesday it was full blown "crappy". Colin was snotty and coughing too much for me. He went to the doctor, gave him some meds, gave TJ some meds, and now Emily and I are feeling crappy. Emily's is just a cough, mine is just the headache and body ache. So now Emily and Colin are taking the same meds, and I am just relying on Advil. We are totally looking forward to this weekend. We have noooooo plans and are staying home all weekend. I am hoping for as much snow as possible. I want to be snowed in and cozy at home.

I can honestly say, I HATE THE IRS! There, I said it out loud, but it won't help me at all, and for that matter it doesn't make me feel any better either. We have been waiting since October for our Tax Credit, $8k, which is the only reason we bought the house. We are using it to pay all our debt off, except the house, my car, and basic ultilities. What a pain it has been to apply for it, yes I said "apply". Typically you would file for a tax credit, but for this it is like you are remortgaging your house. We had to give supporting documents of everything, pay stubs, license's, monthly mortgage statement, vehicle registration, copy of the deed, all above having to show the new current address. Thank goodness I was on top of changing our address on everything and TJ just renewed his license so it worked out. On top of all the paperwork, it all has to be mailed the old fashioned way, no electronic processing for it. So now, something we were told we would have by thanksgiving, we won't see it until beginning of March at the earliest. It could take up to several months to get it. WHAT??????? This is horrible. I just want my money and get myself situated. Thank you so much Mr. Obama, I really appreciate your tax credit, but maybe next time you could inform the IRS to speed it up and start the electronic process.

Dont' have much more time to write, but have lots to write.

Super Sunday

We made through the past week, it is now Sunday, and boy I could really use like 6 more hours of sleep. We have had a busy weekend, but it has been fun. Yesterday we spent the afternoon at my sister's new house, helping her get organized, since the painter is almost done. The kids love going there because Aunt Kelly gives them whatever they want, and she never says "no". We stayed there a little longer then expected, but it worked out in the end. Then we headed to my parent's house for a small birthday party for my nephew Jake and my brother. Jake turned 7 and Michael 31. It was fun, we ordered pizza and made brownies. The kids all played in their garage all night. It's heated and they have all the bikes and a ping pong table. We got home around 9, which was good because the roads were getting slick from the snow yesterday. All in all is has been a good weekend so far, and now today should be better. We have dinner at his dad's house, which is always nice. Right now, I am typing this and TJ is hanging shelving in our one closet that we use as a office area, our computer and it's accesoried are there. We just got a wireless router, and I must say, it is pretty nice being able to blog while laying in bed watching TJ work hard. LOL!
Sorry this is a quick one, got lots to do and laying in bed is not getting it done!

Oh Friday, where are you?

This week seems to be dragging on and on and on.... I can't beleive it is only Tuesday. Some weeks fly by, others drag (this being one of those weeks).

We went and got our taxes done. Boy that was a mess. We bought the house within that $8k Tax Credit, so you would think it would be an easy task to get our money, but NOOOOOOOO way. We have been through the ringer for it, but as of today, it should be here in 5-7 weeks. Thank you Mr. Obama for making things so much worse then they were before. Granted, you are giving us our 8k, but you are doing nothing for Healthcare, nor are you helping the middle/lower class people. Sorry, I had to vent.

We are having such a problem with Emily right now. Not so much a problem, but a really weird situation. How do you prevent a 3/4 year old from napping, while sitting on a school bus for 3 hours? Any good ideas, I'll take 'em. On the weekends she is so great, she goes to by alone, falls asleep fast, sleeps all night in her own bed. On a work night, I have to fight to get her to go to bed, practically tie her down to keep her in her bed, listen to her cry for god knows how long, then eventually find her in my bed. I know, "get a baby gate", as if I hadn't thought of that myself, but the little miss just climbs right over it. It's great. After about 4 times of taking her back to her bed and fighting to get her back to sleep, I just give up and let her sleep in my bed with TJ and I, and let me tell ya, it ain't fun! Colin on the other hand, he is great. He won't sleep with TJ and I. If I put him in bed with us, he tosses and turns until I put him back in his bed. This weekend we took his crib down, I almost cried, and put his toddler bed up. He LOVES it. He hasn't slept this good in weeks. He doesn't get out of bed, he doesn't seem to whine or shuffle as much. Why can't Emily do that. We do it all, the "monster" check list (looking in, under, around, behind everything), a bedtime story, smooches, hugs, "I love you" so many times. She just won't do it. I need some serious help...... oh and some serious sleep!

Just a touch on a previous post, I have been thinking about it since I wrote it. I cannot beleive my baby girl is going to be 4. I can remember bringing her home from the hospital all cozy in her car seat. Today my little baby said to me "mom, when will my birthday be here?" I said "in a little over a month", Emily "oh, but that's too long, I want it now", me "now, nothing ever happens now", Emily "but Veruca in the Candy movie gets everything now"! I guess I have let her watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tooooo many times, of course the original, not that new scary looking one with Johnny Depp.

I think that is all for now. Off to shower and hopefully to bed early, she did not take a nap today!

It's Not as Easy!

This week has been a little crazy, in so many ways. This weekend even more crazy then I expected. On Friday, we had some drama in my family, mostyly my uncle and us. He posted a really nasty post on facebook, for everyone to see. I guess he didn't think we would respond to it, meaning my siblings and I, but we did. It turned out to be like WW10 in my family, but oh well, he should have never said what he said. It was not only hurtful, but extremely personal. Whatever, he is not worth my time or pain.

So I smoked for many year leading up to my pregnancies. I was able to quit with each baby, but I somehow picked it up again, after the baby turned like a year old. It's crazy, I always said I can quit whenever I want, but now I am realizing, I Can't! It is such a hard statement to say, it's like admiting failure. I have tried several times, all with no success. This weekend I tried again, I was certain this time was it, well I am at like 20 hours with out one and I am dying. It's crazy. I used to be able to go weekends with out it, since our other friends didn't know I smoked, we would go to the beach for 3-4 days and I wouldn't smoke at all. I used to hide it from TJ a long long time ago, but now I can't do it. I hate it, I don't want my kids to think it is ok, I don't like the smell, I don't like the cost. What to do??? My brother quit using Chantrix (sp?), and he recommends it to anyone. I never thought I would be the one to need help to quit. It's just not as easy I thought it would be.

Tuesday or Wednesday?

We had a holiday on Monday, so no school for the kiddos, but man it really screws me up through the week. I am so confused as to which day it is. Since I have confirmed it is Wednesday, I feel like this week is moving along pretty good.

Today I have an appointment at the Ortho doc for my ankle. I am really nervous about it. I have been in pain for a few weeks now, and I have learned to ignore it and just continue as usual, but now I know there is something seriously wrong with it. I am sooooo scare the doctor is going to take me out of work. To most people this would be great, and man I would love to spend a few lazy days at home, but I don't get paid time off. We are just starting to get back on our feet from buying the house and Christmas, so a few weeks with no check would really set us back. I know if he casts me or even puts me in a boot, my supervisor is going to tell me I can't work, but I have tooooo! I am so worried about it, I am almost making myself sick over it. It's crazy, as much I may complain about my job, I don't want to leave my students for too long. We'll see, I will post about that after my appointment this afternoon (hopefully after work)!

I have been trying to take time to plan Emily and Colin's birthdays. It so crazy to think I have a "4" year old. I can't beleive it already! She is growing right before my eyes and I can't stop it. She amazed me everyday, especially with how loving and affectionate she is. I hope this is not just a stage and she stays loving and affectionate her whole life. I love when she just runs up and gives me a great big hug and kiss, for no reason at all, just cause she loves me. Anyway, that was totally off course. Emily's birthday is on March 2, so I was thinking about having a low key party at the house for her. Of course, with my family nothing is low key, we automatically have 20 people just with my siblings and their families. I really wanted to do something special, I just don't have any ideas. Colin's birthday on the other hand, boy oh boy! His birthday is on May 26, so on Memorial Day Weekend, I think we are going to have a HUGE birthday/housewarming bbq for all our friends and family to celebrate the house and his birthday. We have a huge yard and we want to show off the house, so why not right? Well, I started jotting down a list of who would be invited, and just with both families, not including friends, we are at over 50. That is a lot of people, and if we start inviting friends we are going to be way over that. I really want to do this, since we have never been able to have a big party like this, but then I have to feed and hydrate all these people. Oh well, in the end it will be well worth it. I have alot more thinking and planning to do, but I think we are just gonna do it.

That's it for now. Gotta get some stuff done before my appointment. If you pray, pray that everything goes well and I can still work. I know I am definitely praying.

Just a quickie!

Sometime between Christmas and New Years, I hurt my ankle. I have no idea what I did, nor did I know the extent of injury. After a week of limping I decided to go to the doc to see what was wrong. He sent me for an X-ray, assuming it was fractured, NOPE! So I did the MRI on Friday, and I just got the results last night. Apparently I tore a ligament. I don't realy know what that means, nor do I know how they fix it, but I do know I am still in some serious pain. I now have to go see an Orthopedic doc to get it fixed. I am a little nervous, I cannot have surgery nor can I have a cast. If I have either they won't let me work, and of course I do not have any kind of short term disability. I guess I will just have to wait and see what the doc says.

I must say, I have been an extremely generous person over the past year or so. I give and give and give some more, never expecting anything back. I help anyone who needs it and never ask any questions. I wonder..... How long and you give before the favor is returned? How many times do I have to be walked on before I say enough is enough? I don't ever ask much, as TJ and I try to be self-sufficient, but in some cases we just need help. It seems lately, noone is willing to help us. I totally understand everyone has their lives, problems, family and needs, but I have given my all, and have not gotten a darn thing back! I am just about at my limit, and I just needed to vent.

Just another Monday!

Today we have no school for the holiday, so the kids and I are sitting at home chilling out. We had another eventful weekend, hopefully the coming weeks are better then the last two weeks.
We started last week with no water, it was our fault. TJ was changing the faucet in our master bath, when the valve broke in his hands and gallons of water began spraying all over the bathroom. We had to shut the water off to the whole house, and it was later Sunday afternoon, so nothing was open to get the part to fix it. TJ and his dad were able to plug it off to allow us to have water in the house until it could be fixed. Monday afternoon, TJ and his dad fixed it, but again we had no water because they had to shut the main water off to let the glue set. We woke up on Tuesday to learn that the fix did not hold and the water was still leaking. Again, no water in the house, so TJ again fixed it on Tuesday afternoon, but we had no water over night again so the glue could set. FINALLY on Wednesday morning we got our water back with no leaks or problems. How great right? Well on Thursday afternoon, the nuckleheads that are widening route 41, hit a watermain and the whole town lost water all of Thursday afternoon and most of the night. After taking the kids to my moms to get baths, our water came back, but it was disgusting, brown and dirty. By Friday morning, the hell was over and our water was back to normal. So we were sitting on the sofa on Friday evening, finally relaxing after such a stressful week, when we noticed a puddle of water in front of the fridge. We checked, and of course the freezer was getting warm and our ice maker was leaking the water. Nothing we did got the freezer to chill again, so we emptied it into the chest freezer we had. The fridge seemed fine, so we let that go. I woke up on Saturday to call Sears, to find the Fridge was warming up as well, so no we have to empty that. Luckily my aunt lives up the road and we were able to take our stuff there. Sears could not get someone out until next Friday, but they said it sounds like the condensor is broke, which could cost up to $500. Needless to say, we went shopping on Saturday afternoon for a new fridge with no such luck. We found a few we liked, but we weren't ready to make a decision on a minutes notice. My dad had an extra fridge in his garage, so now we are borrowing that fridge until we are ready to buy a new one. What a mess!

I have been trying to find the good in things lately. It is pretty hard, but I do seem to make it work. I want to live a life of less stress and less negativity. It seems to be working. I find that if I look for the good positive things inlife I do feel better day to day. I keep telling TJ that I want to go to church. We have never went as a couple, nor a family, but I often think I would like it and would love to have a new faith. I am by no means a religious person, but maybe if I find a place to look for answers like church, I would feel better. I don't know what to do, I don't want to go to church and hate it, but I don't want to not try and wonder if I should have. Any thought????

We are hoping to get our taxes done soon! I am only waiting on my w2 from work then we can get them done. This year should be great, considering we get $8000 right off the bat from buying our first home. We decided with whatever money we get we are going to pay everything off. We should have no debt except for my car, mortgage and utilities. We calculated it all, and we should still have money left over to do some long awaited things to the house, starting with the master bath. I want a regular bath tub, with a regular shower. I am really looking forward to it. We'll see, the most important thing is to pay everything off.

I want to talk a minute about my husband. I don't talk about him enough. For anyone who does not know. I have been with TJ since August 2008. We dated a few years before marrying on Oct 9, 2004. I can honestly say, I have married the man of my dreams. He is definitely my soul mate and I can not imagine one day without him. We have been through some very rough times, but the good times far out-number them. TJ is the strongest, most caring, giving, affectionate, passionate, loving, supportive, generous person I have ever met. He loves me unconditionally with no hesitation. He is my #1 supporter, he has a way to make me smile when I don't want to and he makes me feel like the most beautiful person in the world. He is an excellent father, and our children adore him. I don't say it often enough, but I am so thankful for him and so lucky to have him. There are so many people out there who don't have this, and I could not imagine a day in their shoes. Thank you so much TJ for all you do and for being who you are. I love you so much!

With that said, I gotta try to put a little man down for a nap, he's grumpy!

Holy Cow, Has it Really Been That Long?

I can't even remember the last time I posted on my blog. Things have been fun-filled, disasterous, crazy, chaotic, fast, slow, happy, sad, etc...... Needless to say, I have had absolutely no time to get on this and tell our life story from the past 5 months or so. We have been on a roller coaster ride, and I think it is finally taking it's last loop before the ride ends. We bought our house, which we are sooooo thankful for. We are beyond happy with it, except for a few small changes we want to make, but they will come in time. We survived Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas along with a handful of birthdays, and we survived them all happy. Our marriage is stronger then ever, but then again I never had my doubts about marrying the man of my dreams. The kids are growing so fast and they are both becoming such smart, beautiful, energetic little kids. I can't even say they are babies anymore because they are both far beyond that. Let's see if I can sum up the past couple months in a few paragraphs.

In August my brother and his family welcomed their second little girl into this crazy world. Her name is Evangelina Grace Nelson, and she is soooo precious. Eva is such a great mix of Michael and Melissa, but I think she is more toward Michael. Soon after a healthy birth, they received some not so great news. Eva tested positive for a gene mutation, after some further testing and a few visits to CHOP, she was diagnosed with a mild case of Cystic Fibrosis. She has not shown any signs of it, but it is a progressive disease, which mean later in life she will start to show signs of it, but because they caught it so early she has already started preventitive treatments to help her in the future. No matter what, she is a blessing and we are so proud to have her in our lives.

We signed the papers on our new house on October 16, and moved in almost immediately. Boy that was fun, it poured from the heavens for 5 days straight. We had about 10 guys helping us move, and they were soaked. They got us in with no problems, other than a few mud foot prints and some water on the floor. Emily and Colin adjusted very well to the move and absolutely love their "OWN" new bedrooms. Colin's a a manly blue and Em's is a princess pink, with a princess border. She is so very proud of her big girl room, now only if we could get her to sleep there all night. Anyway, we love our home and we are so proud of it.

We made it through Christmas, which was soooo much fun this year. Colin is now at the age where he is fun. Last year it was kind of boring, but this year we really enjoyed it. They got so many new toys from Santa and our family, I am still trying to find a place for all of it. We got our first "real" christmas tree this year and I was so proud of it. We picked the perfect one and it fit so well in the house. We were able to finally get them toys that can go outside since we have such a great yard, now if spring would just hurry up and get here.

My sister purchased her first home as well, which we could not be more proud of her. I am sad that she moved a little further away, but Lancaster is only 25 minutes. Her house is so cute and just perfect for her. Once she is all set up it will be great. The previous owners must have smoked some funny stuff when they chose their paint colors, but once Kelly paints and puts her own touches on it, it is going to be so nice. We are definitely proud of her and can't wait to spend many fun times there.

This new year has started a little rough, but I am confident it will only get better. We had a stomach bug the first weekend/week of the year, then we broke a valve on a pipe in our bathroom the second weekend/week, so here's to hoping the third week is as smooth as a babies butt. We have so many goals for this year, which we hope to accomplish soon! I better wrap this up, the kids are wanting lunch! I will hopefully be able to keep up with this a little more often then every 6 months. I have so much to say, but so little time. I will try to sit down for 10 minutes a day and vent a little, boy I sure could use some venting.