Sunday, January 24, 2010

It's Not as Easy!

This week has been a little crazy, in so many ways. This weekend even more crazy then I expected. On Friday, we had some drama in my family, mostyly my uncle and us. He posted a really nasty post on facebook, for everyone to see. I guess he didn't think we would respond to it, meaning my siblings and I, but we did. It turned out to be like WW10 in my family, but oh well, he should have never said what he said. It was not only hurtful, but extremely personal. Whatever, he is not worth my time or pain.

So I smoked for many year leading up to my pregnancies. I was able to quit with each baby, but I somehow picked it up again, after the baby turned like a year old. It's crazy, I always said I can quit whenever I want, but now I am realizing, I Can't! It is such a hard statement to say, it's like admiting failure. I have tried several times, all with no success. This weekend I tried again, I was certain this time was it, well I am at like 20 hours with out one and I am dying. It's crazy. I used to be able to go weekends with out it, since our other friends didn't know I smoked, we would go to the beach for 3-4 days and I wouldn't smoke at all. I used to hide it from TJ a long long time ago, but now I can't do it. I hate it, I don't want my kids to think it is ok, I don't like the smell, I don't like the cost. What to do??? My brother quit using Chantrix (sp?), and he recommends it to anyone. I never thought I would be the one to need help to quit. It's just not as easy I thought it would be.

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