Wednesday, July 18, 2012

That Mom!

This is the post that I show how long winded I can be! Here goes nothing!

This summer I have decided not to work and to help a friend out with childcare. I have taken on two kids, 6 & 7, and have been doing it since the beginning of June. It has not been too bad, but I have realized I will probably not be having anymore children. Four kids while 8/9 months pregnant was probably not the best idea. I have four kids ranging from age 4 to 7 and it is a daily challenge. The extreme heat has not been a helping factor, and the fact that the kids each have a completely different personality. There is some fighting, bickering, boredom, over stimulation, disagreements and so on. I can honestly say, this will be the last summer I feel the need to be home all summer. I love our friends, and I love the kids, but it is a lot harder then I thought it would be. I have one week and two and a half days left!

We are two weeks to the day from our schedule delivery and I am starting to feel the stress. Maybe I shouldn't call it stress, more like fear, anxiety, nerves, discomfort and excitement. I am so super excited to meet this little man (yes little MAN!) and I am so ready to start our new chapter or normalcy, but I honestly think I am more excited not to be pregnant anymore. This summer pregnancy thing is not all that great. Being full term in July, well is just plain old SUCKS! I am hot all the time, I am tired all the time, my feet and hands swell and I have no appetite. I have been in a lot of pain now for about a week. I have been having abnormal contractions, lots of back pain and extreme pressure and discomfort! Don't get me wrong I am so beyond thankful we were given this opportunity, with very minimal complications. I am excited to have another child, but I am exhausted, emotionally, physically, mentally! We haven't really done anything to prepare for this baby either. I guess we will wait until the last minute like I do with everything else in life. We have the basics, car seat, stroller, pack and play, boppy, clothes, diapers. What else is there huh? Oh boy, the closer we get the more I realize how unprepared we are. Guess we should start getting it together!

My Emily starts first grade in just about a month..... OMG.... really, first grade. She will go full-time and I am so not ready to let her go. I will miss her terribly and want to cry every time I think about it. She is such an amazing big girl, she is super smart, absolutely stunning, very funny, becoming girly and everything I could ask for in my daughter. We have been so blessed to watch her grow, and can't wait to see what the next few years will bring. She did amazing in kindergarten, she was in the top of her class, never got into any trouble (stayed on green all year), had perfect attendance and made huge improvements. I know she will shine in first grade. She is now 6, and I swear she is going on 16. She has quite the personality, and she is a sassy little girl. I love her to pieces and am so thankful I am her momma.

Colin Michael, he is a wild child.... He is so much fun. He has the most open personality, talks to most anyone he meets, comes up with the funniest little things. He stays active from the moment he wakes to the moment he crashes at night (and I mean crashes in bed). He is very self sufficient, can always entertain himself and very rarely whines or cries. He makes the best of any situation and is always on the go! He has grown up so much in the last year and I can't believe I only have one more year before he goes to kindergarten, hoping to send him to part-time preschool this year but still unsure! He is an incredible little man and I am excited to see him grow as a big brother!

TJ and I, I still can't believe we have been together 14 years! We will not only celebrate the birth of our second son, but our 14th anniversary of being together on August 1st. Crazy.... I can't believe it's been that long. It honestly seems like maybe 5 years ago. In October we will be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary and can't wait to celebrate more. It's rather funny, most of the couples we grew with in high school and after have resulted in bitter divorces, or ugly separations. We have never even come close. We always joke that our relationship/marriage is so different from everyone else. We work very hard to have what we have and I wouldn't trade it for the world. He is the most amazing, loving, caring, compassionate, supportive, helpful, hard working man, husband and father. His children absolutely adore him, they count down the hours until he gets home from work and they go ballistic when they finally see him, EVERYDAY! The excitement I see in my children when they see him after a day at work is all I need to know we are perfect! It's so cute int he morning, at 5am they go through a long conversation of "I Love You" "Have a good day" "See you soon", yes all this at 5am, mixed with hugs and kisses and lots of "bye daddy"... luckily they have no problem falling right back to sleep! I am so truly, madly, deeply in love with him and look forward to the next 100 years shared with him.

Two weeks after delivery, we are heading to the beach for four days, Thurs-Sun! I can't wait. The kids have been begging to go to the beach since school let out, and I can't wait to take them. We found a cute little motel right on the boardwalk, with a pool. I think I am more excited then the kids. We haven't really talked about it, just to have a little bit of the surprise factor. They know we are going, but they don't know when. I am a little nervous taking a 16 day old baby, but we will survive. I took Colin at 5 weeks, so it can't be too bad. Needless to say, I am stoked and can't wait to share another special weekend with family!

In the last few months, TJ's brother has started to come back into our life. We had went separate ways for a long time, he was making bad choices and doing some not so great things. I didn't want the kids to see it or to think it was ok, so we kept our distance. He has recently done a complete turn around and it an amazing young man. He turned 21, and surprisingly it has calmed him down. He has a very serious girlfriend, and she is amazing. It's nice to see him happy, in love and back in our life. We have missed him terribly and are so thankful for his turn around!

Onto the title of my post.... That mom! I have always said I wanted to be her, I wanted to be that mom who is incredible! I want to be that crafty, creative, interactive mom, but I don't think I am. Emily has a friend, he is the cutest little guy ever. He knocks on our door just to play, and he will stay for hours. He is very polite, always uses manners, very sweet and just loves Emily. I realized just recently, I am that mom, in his eyes. He doesn't have the greatest home life, nothing bad, but nothing super great either. He always comments on how I am and how the kids are and I realize he doesn't have the same thing at home. That mom.... I guess it is just a matter of opinion, so I may not be THAT mom, but I am that mom! I know it doesn't make sense to you, but it does to me.

Ok well I have one screaming for juice, one screaming for a snack and one kicking me intently in the bladder, so I guess I better sum this up! It feels so great to finally vent of some sort. I will have to try  harder to blog, I do love it, but time is just not my friend! Hopefully my next post will be an update introducing our newest little guy! YAY!