Reflections

I sit here on the eve of NYE, and I reflect on the past year. This year has been the hardest, yet most rewarding year in our marriage and parenting. Financially things have been a mess, but I can finally say, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and we are doing great now. The kids have grown so much, learn even more and started new adventures. This year will mark the first year I became a parent of a school age child, and boy it hurts still. I miss her when she is at school, I dread dropping her off, but I love love love that she is so happy at school. She loves learning and meeting new people and she really enjoys her class. Colin has come so far this year as well, completely potty trained, talking in ways I never thought he would, becoming a little man. Our marriage, through all the tests this year, is still amazing. It's pretty cool to watch us grow together and become one more then ever. It sounds crazy, but I really do think we have a different kind of love then most people. We still have fun, laugh, cry, joke, argue and every night we say "I Love You" and go to bed happy as ever. I knwo everyone thinks that.

This year is ending on a positive note, literally. With this new little baby growing inside me, it makes things totally different. We had our ultrasound and it was more amazing then I remember with the first two. The heard beat was so strong and clear, it was perfect. We are measuring right at 8 weeks (as of Wednesday), so my due date is officially August 8, 2012. Wow, I can't wait!

Bucket of nerves!

Not sure why I am so nervous about our ultrasound tomorrow, but I am. It's not as if we are really going to see amything, since it's still ao early. All we are going to learn is my due date, but my nerves won't subside. I am excited to see this little baby, this little heartbeat and for the first time really know i'm pregnant. I am excited that this will be my big Christmas present. I will post again after our appt. Pray for us!

Big Week!

We go for our ultrasound on Friday, yup the eve of Chriatmas Eve. I am beyond ecstatic. I knowbonce I see this little babby, and see a heartbeat, I will be over the moon. What an amazing Christmas present.. We havem't really told anyone else, a few random people, but I am anxious to tell the world. Part of me wanta to ahout it from the mountains, and the other part wants to enjoy this secret time as long as I can. If I have my calculationa right, I am about 7/8 weeks and am feeling every second of it. The aheer exhauation has set in, and I am getting these terrible stretching pains (which I don't remeber with the firat two). I have been having some moderate cramping which scares the bejeezes out of me. I know some discomfort is expected, but this is worse them I remember. I talked to my mid wife and she said it is very normal with a third pregnancy, my body knows the routine amd just jumps into position. I am trying my best to enjoy every second of this one, since we are more then certain we are done after this. We hace decided ro breast feed which is new rovua, never did it with the first two. I want tp experience that part, the bonding, and of course to s ave a little moolah! Here is to a week of waiting not so patiently and Santas arrival.

Already!

Symptoms that I wasn't expecting yet have taken over completely. My boobs hurt so bad, it brings teats to my eyes. I am now in a super tight sports bra 24/7. It's bad enough I cringe at showering, not only cause the bra has to come off, but the water make them hurt more. I don't remember this with the first two, atleast not this early. It doesn't help I have been battling a cold and sinus infection all week. I am so tired I can hardly funtion moat days. My patience ia as thin as it can be, and I feel horrible for my family, especially TJ. He is taking the bulk of housework, the primary care of the kids and lack of attention from me. Its gonna be a long couple of months. Two great things to look forward to, we get to see this little baby on Friday at our ultrasound, then we get to celebrate Christmas for three straight dasy. I hope I feel better by then.

Oh boy!

Now that the cat is out of the bag I feel the need to vent a bit. I AM SCARED OUT OF MY MIND! I was never this scared with my first two. I am scared of miscarriage, neglecting my first two, I may not be strong enough to endure pregnanc y again, the list goes on. I don't talk to anyone about it, maybe because I don't think they will understand, but I truly believe if I don't talk about it no bad can happen. I know crazy right... I am driving myself nuts.

Shout it out loud..

We have some big news and its killing me to keep it quiet. I figure not many people read blog, so I can talk about it on here. I have not announced it yet on facebook, and honestly not sure if and when I will. We found out on Thanksgiving that we are expecting baby #3. I have to admit at I wasn't as excited as I should/could have been. I think the initial shock and fact that it was unexpected took over, the fear and nerves set in, I found it hard to be excited. We haven't told many people, really only family and a few close friends. We had a doctors appt last week and an ultrasound, we go again on the 23rd to confirm due date and growth. If you do happen to read this, as excited as we really are, we aren't ready for the world to know yet. I feel so much better now!